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This past weekend, I threw myself a goth mitzvah for my 28th birthday. There were friends, fun, pizza, cake, post punk, ’90s goth kid music, booty rap, laser lights, space helmets, and a good bit of debauchery. It was my friend Dana’s birthday too, and while she didn’t need a goth mitzvah as much as I did, she was happy to participate. More
Before I proceed with the following story, I should note that both The Gloss and myself are very pro-sex worker. I personally go to strip clubs on a weekly basis — it is incredibly normal here in Portland to get … More
Look, I think the million dollar question here is not “how is Lindsay Lohan financially in a position wherein she has to play bat mitzvahs to make money. I think we know that. The answer is “bad choices.” I think the questions is “what is Lindsay Lohan going to do at a bat mitzvah to make her a worthwhile addition?”
I hoped that maybe she was going to throw a drink in some kid’s face, because that would be amazing, and kids can be really unruly at bar and bat mitzvahs, but, no, I am wrong. That is not going to happen. More
Do not adjust your computer screens. This is a real greeting card. More
I remember very little besides I woke up in a room on the 52nd floor of Encore (not our hotel) soaked in what I can only hope was water with a chicken finger in my right hand and a cigarette in the other. More
Take a guess at the birthday girl’s festivities? Whatever you guessed, you’re wrong. More
What’s great is how uncomfortable the parents are in this picture. More
Today is my half birthday. It seems fitting that it falls on a Wednesday since that is the day of the week that I write my column for you, dear Gloss readers. I have six months left of my twenties and I can’t help feeling that it will be gone before I know it. Twenty-nine almost feels like a fake age somehow, a gray area, neither here nor there. I’m not technically thirty but I don’t so much feel like I’m in my twenties any longer either. More
It is very important! More
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Happy one hundredth birthday, Lucille Ball! Won’t you have some cake? Oh wait, you’re a hilarious ginger-haired angel now, and you only eat the laughter of little girls. Sorry, forgot.
Anyway, tomorrow would have been Lucille Ball’s one hundredth birthday, if she were still alive. To commemorate this fact, LIFE Magazine has released a bunch of never-before-published photos of her for our enjoyment. We typically remember her as the rubber-faced funny lady who made generations of us pee our pants with her shenanigans on I Love Lucy, but she could also be really, really sexy when she wanted to. Here’s a selection of my favorite photos. More
Over the weekend a thirty-something girlfriend and I were talking about an ex boyfriend of hers that she’s still in touch with. He’s one of those people we all have that comes in and out of our lives over the years, someone we’ve broken up with but never completely ruled out as a future possibility. She was telling me that she has a pact with the ex in question that they will marry each other if neither of them finds anyone else by the age of forty. Probably goes without saying that they were all of about twenty when they hatched this plan. More
Well, we’ve been in business a year, and you forgot our birthday. That’s cool. That’s cool. We love Molly Ringwald, really counting on Jake Ryan showing up with a cake at this point. Here’s a small sampling of some of our favorite pieces from the past year: More
Just wondering!
Katie Holmes just celebrated her 32nd birthday. As an insanely rich celebrity, what do you think she did on her big day? No, she didn’t go on a shopping spree. No, she didn’t have a giant star-studded party where she rode in on an elephant. She went to spin class. More
