Topic: break-ups

Fictional Relationships That Would Have Failed In Real Life

Fictional Relationships That Would Have Failed In Real Life

It’s nice the way, as a child, you’re taught to believe that the impossible is possible. You believe that you can be a professional basketball player even if you’re only 5 feet. You believe that time travel is very close to being mastered (I still believe this, I have to because otherwise life would be too bleak). You believe that there was a chance, even a tiny chance, that Mario and Princess Peach could have made their relationship work. There never was, kiddo. There never was. In fact, there are a lot of pairings that would have been doomed in real life. For instance More »

Quippy Alternatives To Saying “Let’s Still Be Friends”

 Quippy Alternatives To Saying "Let's Still Be Friends"

Let’s set the scene. Your relationship has come to a close, and you’re sitting in an Au Bon Pain, because that’s where relationships always end, someplace terrible like that, or a Starbucks. A Starbucks is slightly nicer, they have better chairs. We will give your relationship the dignity of a starbucks. Both of you have cried. Well, okay, one person has cried and the other person has gotten deeply uncomfortable. Close enough. Now it is time for you to stare at them and say “Look, I still really want us to be friends.” Here are some fun things you could say instead! More »