Topic: break-ups

Fictional Relationships That Would Have Failed In Real Life

Fictional Relationships That Would Have Failed In Real Life
Mario and Peach
Belle and The Beast
Indian Jones And Any Woman
Bert and Ernie
Lady and the Tramp

It’s nice the way, as a child, you’re taught to believe that the impossible is possible. You believe that you can be a professional basketball player even if you’re only 5 feet. You believe that time travel is very close to being mastered (I still believe this, I have to because otherwise life would be too bleak). You believe that there was a chance, even a tiny chance, that Mario and Princess Peach could have made their relationship work. There never was, kiddo. There never was. In fact, there are a lot of pairings that would have been doomed in real life. For instance More »

Quippy Alternatives To Saying “Let’s Still Be Friends”

Quippy Alternatives To Saying "Let's Still Be Friends"
"Did you know my next door neighbor has three rabbits?"
"I am potentially at risk for Type II Diabetes you monster!"
"Because you're a vampire!"
"Is It because of your little problem?"
"Great! I plan to de-friend you on facebook, awkwardly re-friend you a few weeks later, and de-friend you again. Eventually I will friend you permanently, to stalk you, mostly."

Let’s set the scene. Your relationship has come to a close, and you’re sitting in an Au Bon Pain, because that’s where relationships always end, someplace terrible like that, or a Starbucks. A Starbucks is slightly nicer, they have better chairs. We will give your relationship the dignity of a starbucks. Both of you have cried. Well, okay, one person has cried and the other person has gotten deeply uncomfortable. Close enough. Now it is time for you to stare at them and say “Look, I still really want us to be friends.” Here are some fun things you could say instead! More »

Next Week Is ‘Ghosts Of Boyfriends Past’ Week At TheGloss

Next Week Is 'Ghosts Of Boyfriends Past' Week At TheGloss

Did you, at some point, date Matthew Mcconaughey? No? Did you see this wretched movie he was in? Oh, heavens, don’t. I’ve seen it 4 times. I make awful choices, though. I’ll just watch anything with Michael Douglas in it. But! Instead of seeing it, tune into TheGloss every five minutes next week, because it’s “Ghosts of Boyfriends Past” week. We’ll be talking to men about their past relationships, discussing what makes a good boyfriend as well as what makes a good ex, and have people weigh in on how to handle your love life.

And we want to hear from you. Do you have a story to share about an ex? Sure you do! Is it good? Bad? Is everyone dead? You should share it! In 600-800 words (which is about a page and a half of single spaced text). You should write Ashley or myself at Ashley [at] thegloss.com or Jennifer [at] thegloss.com.

Fly little ghosts! Fly! More »

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