Miley Cyrus has apparently taken some time out of her busy schedule of being extremely provocative and not wearing clothes and saying “literally” when she means “figuratively” to try and undo some of the damage visited upon her relationship with ex-fiance Liam Hemsworth. She’d like to patch things up! She’s realized you can’t build a healthy, functioning relationship on twerking and namedropping (even though one of the Baldwin brothers is a huge fan!). More
Topic: celebrity breakups
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have broken up!
Well, they didn’t break up exactly. They “ended their engagement,” but for anyone in the world who has ever done so–or “taken a break” or “needed space”–the outlook is not good. Which is really shocking because, usually, when people get engaged at 19, it results in a baby after exactly nine months, followed by decades of resentment and yawning emotional distance. Then maybe a divorce. More
When Russell Brand dies, his gravestone will read, “yeah I’m the guy who married Katy Perry, but don’t judge me dude. I hated having sex with her. Like really hated it. Sometimes I would just think about it, years later, and vomit all over myself. Truth be told, that vomit on my shirt was more appealing than her.” Or at least that’s what I assume he’ll want remembered about him after hearing that he once again brought up how much he hated having sex with her at a recent comedy show. More
Say it ain’t so! George Clooney and his professional-wrestler-turned-actress-maybe girlfriend Stacy Keibler have split after two years of dating. More
I am admittedly not all that inspired by her story, lo siento for my heart of stone. More