Yesterday, we brought you our picks for the finest red carpet looks of the year, featuring the usual paragons of good taste–Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Naomi Watts, etc. Today, we bring you the opposites, the looks we remember this year because they were ill-fitting, unflattering, color clashing, over-the-top and just plain ugly.
Gird your eyeballs. More
The 2012 American Music Awards, otherwise known as the AMAs, were held last night and… if an awards show takes place in a vaccum and nobody’s around to witness it, did it really happen? We don’t know. But attendees sure as hell tried to make us remember the red carpet.
Despite a mostly bleak guest list, red carpet fashion was a thrill. A cheap, dirty, illicit thrill. Here’s Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, Christina Aguilera, Carrie Underwood, Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, Pink, PSY and many more in an impressive collection of very bad things… More
It seems like her wardrobe choices lately have amounted to “fill a cannon with tight, pink, sparkly shit” and “stand in front of it.” More
Jessica Simpson never met a talking point she couldn’t work. How else could such an unremarkable musician–originally packaged as a “more vanilla” Christina Aguilera–manage to last this long? She hasn’t released a single in four years, the most meaningful work she’s done since “A Public Affair” is knock off designers and exploit her weight fluctuations for tabloid attention. So, you’re a middling celebrity and you’ve already used your offspring to get a magazine cover? What to do? More
Whoa, Christina Aguilera. Here’s The Voice‘s resident female rising naked from a glowing lotus flower–palms up and serene, per Jesus–looking like a cross between Kim Kardashian and Tracy Anderson, or how someone would paint such a thing. More
It’s not. But it’s awesome. More
Is “trashy” a watered-down version of “slutty?” More
“Actually, the challenge I’ve always had is being too thin, so I love that now I have a booty, and obviously I love showing my cleavage.” – Christina Aguilera, on her body. More
I’m not sure if we’ve come to the point where this seems normal or not, but Christina Aguilera’s face on the cover of Lucky magazine looks like a smooth, silky doll. And it’s weird. More
We believe the correct term is nipslip.
What can we say? We’re inspired by Christina Aguilera’s funeral wear. Because we’re utterly insane! More
Christina Aguilera sang “At Last” at Etta James’ funeral over the weekend, which is impressively hubristic. What’s not so impressive is that the self-tanner Aguilera slathered all over her body before the performance began to streak off when she started sweating.
On Friday’s episode of E!’s Fashion Police, Kelly Osbourne decided to trot out the oldest, most boring way to insult a woman there is: calling her fat. Specifically, calling longtime enemy Christina Aguilera fat. This was okay, she explained, because Aguilera had previously called her fat. Oy vey. More