Topic: consent

How Do You Define ‘Rape?’

How Do You Define 'Rape?'

This week’s episode of Girls began with two characters, Adam and his new girlfriend Natalia, about to have sex for the first time. Natalia tells him she’s ready to have sex, and, as he approaches her, says that, ““I’m on the pill, but will you come outside of me, just in case? I don’t like to be on top that much. Or soft touching, because it tickles me and takes me out of the moment. But everything else is OK.”

Whereupon, a friend of mine rolled their eyes and pointed out that this was incredibly unsexy, because you’re, “Just supposed to figure that stuff out.” And I agreed. It seemed like laying out exactly what you liked and didn’t like beforehand would ruin some of the fun exploration that can accompany having sex with someone for the first time. But then, I also admitted, it’s hard to “Just figure that stuff out.”
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Have You Ever Used Alcohol As An Excuse To Have Sex?

Have You Ever Used Alcohol As An Excuse To Have Sex?

So, this is depressing, but not all that surprising if you’ve ever spent any time around young people who drink and/or been one yourself. According to studies published by social work professor Laina Bay-Cheng of SUNY Buffalo, many young women use alcohol as an “excuse” to act out sexually in ways they would not normally feel comfortable doing. According to her, this is just one of many reasons why it’s so hard to get young people to stop drinking themselves into oblivion. More »