Greetings, fashion jihadists! After many hard years of battle, I am pleased to report that we are finally winning our holy war on Crocs. What a proud day for us all. More
Women may think they dress for themselves, but they should stop being so delusional (all that probiotic yogurt is clogging up the reasonable faculties).
Ladies: you’re all straight, you’re all pathologically insecure, and you all select shoes based on what straight men will think makes you more fuckable. Which is to say, put down the espadrilles, girl! More
The world truly is a terrifying place. More
We sometimes think of fashion faux pas as being along the lines of “wearing a mesh dress to meet the Pope.” To that I say, “Pope jokes are pretty fun.” But we’re not going to share any here! Instead we’re going to talk about the 6 fashion missteps that every woman has taken at some point, whether in Uggs or not (feel free to share yours). More
This might be the world’s ugliest shoe, mixing, as it does, three of the ugliest types of footwear to hit the market in the past decade. More
I really resent having to say something nice about the ugliest shoes on the planet, but they’re donating 100,000 pairs of shoes to victims of the Japanese earthquake and Tsunami. Consumers can also donate at Crocs retail stores and online at crocs.com, with proceeds benefiting the Japanese Red Cross Society. I guess people who create ugly things have good hearts. Now. Can Christian Louboutin get on this? Because they need more man-bait over there. More
Because I have public comfort-dressing on the brain today, I’ve put together a gallery of what I consider to be the more objectionable pieces I see on the street with alarming frequency. I admit donning sweats for a coffee run or not giving a shit on laundry day is probably acceptable, but I’m hard-pressed to think the styles contained here are ever a good idea. More
I’m sorry, there’s almost nothing I can add to this story. Apparently Brett Favre (kind of gross) sent former Florida State Cowgirl Jenn Sterger cock shots (kind of gross) of himself while wearing crocs (kind of gross). Together, all these … More
You know what might be more effective than advertisements of Crocs waiting in the dark to massage your feet? Advertisements pointing out that Crocs save lives. A three year old boy received a massive shock from a faulty hair dryer, … More
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In light of last week’s informative (if not nightmarish) Beatnik-spouting Stripper Caper, I decided to do a column on barroom game changers. There are the obvious visual cues that will lead to your conveniently avoiding sex with dumbasses (provided you … More
Look, if you keep portraying crocs as tiny green creatures who like to massage people’s feet, of course turtles are going to think it’s a good idea to mate with them. And it’s going to be really confusing for that … More
Here on TheGloss we’ve documented our massive disapproval of all things associated with The Croc. But now, they’ve put out a commercial where Crocs basically eat your feet. Seriously, it’s supposed to be a foot massage or something, but it’s … More
I’m sure you’ve heard that clogs are coming back in style. When I first began reading this, I have to admit, I was not thrilled. So many clogs are just so, well, fugly. Now, ‘fugly’ is not a word that … More
Nothing makes me want to buy footwear like knowing that aliens all keep their shoes on during their extra flexible alien orgies. Those shoes must be really comfortable. Or else, they’re all just getting whacked in the face periodically, but … More