White Lies Women Tell To Get Laid
Introducing ‘Fatkinis,’ A Bikini Line Exclusively For Women Sizes 10 – 24
Seven Reasons Women Love Game Of Thrones
The Five Worst Kisses I Have Had
Wed Bed Dead: On The F*ckability Of French Fries With Special Guest Julie Klausner!
This Is The Greatest Book About Sex Ever Written
We’ve been talking a lot about sweatpants this week – but not all guilty pleasure comfy clothing items are sweatpants. Okay. Some are sweatpants. Some are also uggs. And some are bras pulled from beneath cars. More
Our esteemed founding editor Lilit is moving on to edit our sister site, Crushable, beginning February 28th. So. Will you be able to anticipate a new era of constant dick jokes and Star Wars allusions at TheGloss? Sort of! Here’s what it means … More
The Misanthropologist is on the move today, rolling up my sleeves and going into the field. Last week, I asked if such a thing as “Slut Face” existed or if you’d ever encountered that “blank but direct” expression. Since then, I’ve been collecting examples/drunk. These are they. Please note: as a female of the species More
This week’s Misanthropologist is all a product of my imagination because 1) I have a gallery prepared for you and 2) look, galleries take a lot of time and energy, and sitting upright is kind of a hassle when there’s all this decaying Halloween candy I found on dashboards of unlocked cars parked outside the Y (they go awesome with dumpster jello shots) (shut up). So I was thinking I should probably comment on this whole Christine O’Donnell brouhaha, only I have no clue what happened. These are the facts I know More
So I go to this gym sometimes (to balance out the smoking and drinking and being a scumbag) but I don’t think I’m getting hotter or thinner or anything because I spend most of my time there just standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors while sobbing (don’t tears weigh anything?). Anyway, there’s this one girl who’s always there. She’s kind of nondescript: white, a little bit tan, long-ish straight-ish blonde-ish hair, pretty fit, somewhere in her late teens or early twenties, neither bad nor great skin. Now, there are plenty of people at my gym, especially some great freaks (like the guy who wears nothing but shorts and fingerless gloves on the treadmill!) so why am I always noticing this one girl? More
What’s up, sluts? The Misanthropologist was vacationing* the last couple weeks (*passed out in a k-hole) and I didn’t have time to write the usual taut run-down of my friends’ sexual humiliation (I should send their dicks royalties). Anyway, now … More
In thinking about this week’s Misanthropologist, I thought it might be interesting to talk to some sexually active friends living in New York and ask them if there was a line they wouldn’t cross in bed. I assumed everybody’s got their something: some act that just seems too gross, too weird, too base, too demeaning. Further, even if you do occasionally participate in this one act for, say, the sake of your partner, are its bad qualities just too distracting for you to get off? More
One common device of lazy writers is starting pieces with a rhetorical question. Another device of lazy writers is to falsely distance themselves from other lazy writers with statements like the previous one so they seem insightful and self-aware by … More
This week’s column is not for the squeamish, by which I mean it is entitled Period Sex and is neither about sex with punctuation marks nor will any Victorian garb be involved. Frankly, I get squeamish talking about menstruation and … More
3 Ways He Can Tell You're Faking An Orgasm
Woman Divorces Soldier Who Lost Legs Because She Wants A Normal Life
This Will Drive Your Man Wild Before Sex
Why Kissing Matters During Foreplay
6 Ways Sex Can Make You More Attractive
Growing up in a sheltered lefty enclave in northern California, I developed a few unusual ideas about life and the universe: 1) if you’re going to jack some of your parents’ weed, ask politely, 2) shopping at farmers’ markets is akin to a great act of humanity and when you walk into Whole Foods, you’re participating in the preservation of the planet and also ending wars and nursing baby animals or some shit and, in all seriousness, 3) being gay is a-okay. It wasn’t until I was shipped off to the cold cruel world of private liberal arts education that I realized not everybody was as comfortable with non-hetero love.
I guess I never thought about sexuality in terms of gay or straight. I kind of always just thought you like who you like and that’s how it goes. I recognize now that this could be perceived as extremely naïve: outside of far left bastions like my home town, there often exist rigid definitions of sexual identity: gay, straight, bi, queer, trans, godless heathen, craven whore, etc. More
Have you ever inadvertently caused an abortion? An unplanned pregnancy? What about a lifetime of distance and resentment between parent and unwanted child? Moreover, is it possible to cause any of these things if you weren’t one of the two … More
Welcome to the Stalker, Part II. Last week we met mild-mannered pizza boy, Dan, who delivered a pie to Alex, who then took a job at Dan’s place of work to be nearer to him. Sure, that’s a bold move … More
Every now and again, I am blessed to encounter a story so epic, unbelievable, and engrossingly weird, that 1) a single column won’t do it justice thus such a story shall have to be split in two, 2) it’s a … More
You’ve got parents. If you’ve got parents, chances are they have fucked. If they’re still married, it’s possible they currently fuck each other. If they’re divorced, they probably fuck other people, and with a kind of gleeful urgency that had … More
