Let’s talk about some reasons to work out that have nothing to do with looking hot, keepin’ it tight, having great abs, giving yourself a non-surgical Brazilian butt lift, or feeling superior to other women. More
Probably the best way to help overweight people lose weight is by not allowing them to participate in athletic activities that would aid them in losing weight. Oh. Wait. That makes no sense at all! Nonetheless, people over 260 pounds are not allowed to participate in the new bike sharing program in New York. More
I don’t actually know for a fact that women in 1906 were more badass than you. Maybe they weren’t! Maybe you fight crime! Maybe you are a ninja! I do not know your life. What I may be saying is that this one particular woman is much more badass than me: More
Oh, God, I just found you the best excuse to avoid going to the gym. You aren’t lazy. You are possibly just allergic to exercise. More
Here is an advertisement that, at first glance, seems completely idiotic. It’s for a company called Nod and a Wink and seems to imply that a woman’s breasts are giving her black eyes as they fling themselves about on the tennis court. “How?” I thought to myself, “How would breasts do that, as breasts are made out of flesh? Even if I tried to fling one of my breasts head-ward, I don’t think it would give me a black eye?” But, you know, then I thought about it, and I suppose there are some ways you could get a black eye from your own breasts. Namely: More
I feel like every time I pick up the Daily Mail I read about a woman who is losing weight by pole dancing. Every time. It appears all they have to do is go in and they are losing weight and swinging their bodies around the pole like a spider monkey. I thought maybe it would be fun to write my own article about things that happened when I tried a pole dancing class at my gym. This happened: More
INT. DAY. GYM.
Assorted WOMEN in workout clothes climb stepping machines in the background. A LUNKHEAD benches carefully in the free weights area. A class of PILATES ENTHUSIASTS unrolls their mats as a smiling YOUNG WOMAN steps into view and addresses the camera.
Welcome to Ironside Fitness.
She walks past a middle-aged woman concentrating on a set of lat pulldowns and gives her a high-five. More
You’ll never dance the same way again after this lesson… More
Your Yoga Pants are pushing good men over the edge. Over the edge into lust. More
I am adding a question mark after, “You can get fit in four minutes” because I am fairly certain my high school gym teacher told me that you don’t really begin losing weight until your heart rate increases, which takes around 20 minutes. It’s weird that this is the one thing I’ve managed to remember from high school, whereas if you asked me about calculus I would say, “I believe it involved numbers and letters, some of them at the same time.” More
In an effort to combat the unsightly weight gain that all too many pregnant ladies fall victim to after “letting themselves go,” Kim Kardashian is working out like crazy to avoid the sad fate of Jessica Simpson, Fat Pregnant Person. At least, according to certain tabloid stories. Certain tabloid stories I believe. More
Did you eat approximately 10 pounds of baked goods this holiday season? There is no shame in that! I mean, I don’t know, maybe if you ate them all at once there is a little shame. But would you like to lose all the weight without ever working out? More
It’s almost the holidays, you guys! Or, screw it: it’s almost Christmas. I’ll go into more detail next week about what my love of Christmas says about me, a Jew, but right now let’s talk about you. Specifically: what your favorite holiday time activity is, and what that says about you as a person. More
Sometimes pretending is just simply the best. More