Topic: Fall/Winter Season

What To Do With Christmas Gifts You Don’t Want

What To Do With Christmas Gifts You Don't Want

Perhaps you received too many Apple products. Perhaps you received an insufficient number of Apple products and risk being drummed out of the local chapter of your Apple product society. Perhaps the spirit of Steve Jobs’ recently impounded yacht will haunt your dreams tonight; that is a matter for your conscience.

Perhaps everyone you know bought you a candle. If you are a survivalist; all to the good. Pack them in your survivin’ shelter and wait for time to prove you right. If you are not a survivalist, find a way to make peace with the fact that no one really knows you; no one even bothered to pretend to know you. More »

Gallery: Celebrities Causing the Pumpkin Shortage

Gallery: Celebrities Causing the Pumpkin Shortage

There was a pumpkin shortage! Even though the shortage is said to have started to end, this is terrible news. It’s fall and we have less pumpkins. Blasphemy! CNN claims that the reason for a scarcity of canned pumpkins on our grocery store shelves this year was because of three years of bad weather. I’m blaming it on the celebrities. All those celebrities going to Mr. Bones’ Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood, California, are the cause of us eating less pumpkin pie, fewer pumpkin seeds (which I can’t find ANYWHERE … please help!) and less cupcakes filled with pumpkin pie. Mr. Bones is basically a pumpkin patch solely open for celebrity fame whores to pose for pictures with their children and Yorkshire terriers and show that they’re just like us. So all those cans of pumpkin missing from the grocery store are missing because the pumpkins are being used as props for celebrity photo ops. Thanks, celebrities. Thanks, a lot. More »