Topic: harassment

Why I Will Always Be Afraid Of Walking Alone

Why I Will Always Be Afraid Of Walking Alone

One evening, I took the train with a friend for the first time. It was the middle of winter, so the sun went down before 5 PM each night. Since I had never been on the train before, I grossly underestimated how long it would take to get home; by the time I got to my stop, it was already dark. I got off and quickly walked in the direction of my house.

Then I heard it: scrrraaaaape. More »

7 Thoughts That Might Go Through Your Head When People Are Laughing Behind You On The Street

7 Thoughts That Might Go Through Your Head When People Are Laughing Behind You On The Street

Maybe it’s my neurosis or the fact that I truly am that self-absorbed, but whenever I’m walking down the street and there’s a group of people laughing behind me, my immediate thought is: “OMG. They’re laughing at me. There is something going on back there on my backside and I’m giving these people a good old-fashioned, knee-slapping laugh.” More »

Illustrated Guide: What To Do If Someone’s Sleeping In Your Bed

Illustrated Guide: What To Do If Someone's Sleeping In Your Bed

Recently, a lady friend of mine expressed that she’s enjoying the newfound freedom of being single (i.e., doing it with whoever she pleases) but she can’t get comfortable sleeping beside effective strangers. Soon after, another lady friend of mine shared the sentiment: the only real bummer to no-strings-attached sex is the problem of what to do after. Kick him out? Move to the couch? Alienate him until he flees? To aid my nice lady friends, I have written and illustrated this helpful guide, “What To Do If Someone’s Sleeping In Your Bed” (and, also, how to get them the hell out). A lot of it is conjecture, but feel free to try. More »

New Blog Shows Women In What They Were Wearing When Assaulted

New Blog Shows Women In What They Were Wearing When Assaulted

Much has been made of a woman’s responsibility to protect herself from sexual harassment and/or assault by not dressing too provocatively. In fact, when I posted an amusing infographic on the actual ways to prevent rape a while back, more than one commenter got all snippy, saying that, like it or not, a woman “in reasonably decent shape and with reasonably good looks” is obviously much more likely to be targeted while looking “slutty and sexually seductive” than while wearing “ratty jeans, greasy hair,” etc., and that anyone who thinks any different “is just deluding themselves (to a ridiculous and laughable degree).” Guess what, commenter? That is bullshit. More »

Bullish: Seven Sentences To Boost Your Career (and Life)

Bullish: Seven Sentences To Boost Your Career (and Life)

Back before Bullish was even a tiny bovine-embryo in TheGloss’s collective unconscious, I wrote a column about shutting down street harassers in which I suggested a single line to silence most harassers, while refusing to play their game: “That’s not an appropriate way to talk to a woman you don’t know.” (How do you resond to that? “Yes it is, ma’am”?)

Whether you are in salary negotiations or merely trying to do more and better work than the person in the next cubicle, sometimes all you need is one sentence.

Here are some sentences that I’ve found extremely useful in improving my career and life. More »

Subway Harassment: When It Happens to You

Subway Harassment: When It Happens to You

This morning, like most mornings, I took the M subway train from my neighborhood in Brooklyn to the office.

At my subway stop, a man came and sat down next to me on the bench. I thought nothing of it, since the benches often fill up with people waiting for the train. However, the man started tapping his foot uncontrollably. I was about to ask him to chill out when I got a look at him: he was glassy-eyed and twitching all over. This wasn’t just some annoying dude, I thought to myself, this guy is a junkie or in withdrawal or something, and I’d rather just go stand on the other end of the platform than engage with him. As I stood, he rubbed his leg against mine in a slow, deliberate way. More »