White Lies Women Tell To Get Laid
Introducing ‘Fatkinis,’ A Bikini Line Exclusively For Women Sizes 10 – 24
Seven Reasons Women Love Game Of Thrones
The Five Worst Kisses I Have Had
Wed Bed Dead: On The F*ckability Of French Fries With Special Guest Julie Klausner!
This Is The Greatest Book About Sex Ever Written
You know how we are always doing “what your… says about you?” Of course you do. They are practically my favorite thing to do. Cosmopolitan has clearly stolen this idea from us, and they are telling you what your menstrual cramps are trying to communicate. Your menstrual cramps are saying that you are dying, probably. Some spoilers, and I’m going to fill in the details they forgot: More
CVS is now forcing employees to submit their BMI for health benefits, so I guess you can buy potato chips and sinus medication from the most beautiful person possible. That’s a thing people look for. More
You know you’re going to drink more than you say you will, so you might as well start prepping now for tomorrow. More
INT. WHITE ROOM
MARY (a serene-looking woman of about 40)
faces the camera.
MARY
This is Christina.
A picture of CHRISTINE (young, smiling woman)
fills the screen.
MARY
Three years ago, Christina was
diagnosed with a rare form of
blood cancer. Doctors gave her
only months to live. Then she
found St. James Hospital.
A picture of an impressively modern hospital. Sleek. More
Red wine can definitely fight the effects of aging.
Red wine will clear up your acne, but it will replace the acne with migraines.
Red wine will enable you to “have it all” but it will give your children autism. If your children already have autism, it will give them a peanut allergy. If your children already have a peanut allergy, it will turn them into human-sized dragonflies.
Red wine is the winning taste in the 2013 Do Us a Flavor Lay’s Potato Chip flavor contest. More
INT. DAY. GYM.
Assorted WOMEN in workout clothes climb stepping machines in the background. A LUNKHEAD benches carefully in the free weights area. A class of PILATES ENTHUSIASTS unrolls their mats as a smiling YOUNG WOMAN steps into view and addresses the camera.
WOMAN
Welcome to Ironside Fitness.
She walks past a middle-aged woman concentrating on a set of lat pulldowns and gives her a high-five. More
You’ll never dance the same way again after this lesson… More
When was the last time you cleaned your breasts? Have you been spreading health epidemic all over with your unwashed boobs? Feeling guilty about making all those people super duper sick? More
Anything that can be composted. If it can’t stand up to the ravages of the compost heap, you do not want to know what it’s deteriorating into in your stomach. Better stay on the safe side and give it a miss.
Bananas that slowly change from yellow to spotted to almost entirely brown and then back again, for obvious reasons (the reason is enchantment). Why are you even thinking about eating those bananas? Don’t click on that. Put that down. That’s not food for humans. More
This Will Drive Your Man Wild Before Sex
Woman Divorces Soldier Who Lost Legs Because She Wants A Normal Life
3 Ways He Can Tell You're Faking An Orgasm
Why Kissing Matters During Foreplay
6 Ways Sex Can Make You More Attractive
Someone must have joined the masses and jumped on the resolution ship… so what was it? More
How badly were the home alone burglars injured? A medical expert explains. More
My friend’s face currently looks like a Jackson Pollock painting. It’s as though someone mistook it for canvas and covered it in red paint that has no direction, but in which some artist might find meaning. She finds no humor in this comparison; normally, her skin is perfect. More
Don’t believe the hype; whiskey is your friend. More
Some helpful tips should you find yourself in this unfortunate (but kind of hilarious like three weeks later?) situation. From, um, someone who has been there. More
