You want to know what sucks? Puking. Seriously, the word itself is vile. There’s nothing even remotely attractive about getting sick to your stomach. And normally, you stay pretty unappealing for roughly three days afterwards, though I guess it depends on just how sick you were. Unfortunately, we don’t always have all the recuperation time we need. That’s when it’s important to think back to your sorority days and just how those lady lushes managed to look attractive even after a week-long bender. Better take notes. More
Or a pilates bun, as I like to call it. More
Ugh, I never do my hair this way because, while french twists are theoretically easy, they never seems to hold as well as a braided updo. Probably because there is no hair-elastic, so you are going to be relying a lot on bobby pins. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile as “a thing that exists!” More
People. They sure do love making you feel weird about dressing like a human being. When I say “people” I mean “lousy degenerates.” Here’s how to respond when you are tripping down the street, just feeling good about wearing a … More
Remington sent over their Curl Perfect Curling Iron (seen above). Which, in addition to looking like a space alien’s sex toy promised perfect curls. RIGHT THERE. IN ITS NAME. More
Fun fact, I really only know how to do 2 hairstyles! When I don’t hot-roll my hair I generally braid it and twist it up. Sometimes because I want to look nice for a party, sometimes because I do not have 10 spare minutes in the morning. Man, since we’re doing this all week, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are really going to suck. But on the upside, if you only know how to do these two hairstyles, people will think you know a lot about hair and ask you questions.
People are so dumb.
Let’s begin: More
I know how she does it. More
This dude knew how to do it. More
You know those really cool people who can wear one obviously inappropriate piece of clothing, but instead of having people say “hey, we always suspected you might have a cat sweater in your closet!” people just kind of stand back and say “how is that person so cool?” Yeah, I haven’t really seen this happen, ever, but I read about it in a book written by someone who lives in Brooklyn. Sounds fun. We’re going to make you into one of those people. More
I don’t know about you, but periodically, I go out to get pedicures, and I always sit under the fan for the ten minutes they tell me to for the polish to dry (the polish that promises to quick dry in three minutes). I pay the extra dollar for the quick dry solution and carefully tiptoe home in flip flops. And it looks great. But the minute I get home and put on some closed toed shoes, the polish gets all smudged and the pedicure is ruined.
This happens every time, which is probably why I get about one pedicure a year.
Now! It could be that my toes are weird. That’s possible. Or it could be that there are some things I just haven’t tried. These are those things.
Some days you wake up and are like “today, I’m going to take off work and be a french maid stripper with my lover who fits all my specifications for that kind of sex game.” Other days are kind of drizzly and you have no clean tights to wear except those fishnets you have left over from the sex games. This is for those days. More
We’ve kind of touched on this before for TheGloss’s male readers, but I feel like we have a lot of famous celebrity lady readers who could use our help (still waiting for my friendship bracelets/hang-out offers from Zooey Deschanel, but it’s cool, no rush). So we’re going to share our wealth of knowledge about how to take good naked photos. Here is how. More
And by crazy, we basically mean like you are someone who just escaped from an anime convention. So, fun crazy, we guess? Still, a few tips to keep this look subtly sexy and not pervy and weird: More