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Questions that will be answered this week by your all-knowing host:
- Why will the new Justin Timberlake album likely raise birth rates?
- What’s the real problem we need Lululemon to start fixing for us?
- Which disease has Downton Abbey‘s Dan Stevens caught — one that he shares with Hugh Jackman, Tom Hanks and Christian Bale?
- Who is Instagramming her weird bloody face? More
Wake up and take off those ugly green tutus, America! I know you’re hungover from last night’s gross green beer, but there’s a 100% fresh News For Bitches for you all, so get ready to be filled in on the latest and greatest of stories regarding the pope, the Spice Girls and the bacon– Mikala Bierma style. More
The 2013 Brit Awards happened yesterday and attracted a bunch of big stars–Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake… uh… Lana Del Rey? She’s famous for the internet.
Well, here are the attendees we recognized, along with a few we didn’t (in strikingly hideous dresses). More
Watch Justin Timberlake eat cereal? you’re probably saying to yourself. Where do I sign? More
You know shit hasn’t gotten a wee bit out of hand when you can’t call your ex a bitch, without someone throwing a fit. Think about all the things you’ve called your exes — does bitch even come close to the slurs and accusations that have rolled off your tongue? More
I usually think Justin Timberlake looks like a Sim, but did anybody else also find him exceptionally good looking at the Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday? That hair! That suit! That overwhelming confidence practically oozing from those steam-cleansed pores! More
Apparently everyone hates Jessica Biel? The Daily News says “Face it, Jessica, Hollywood just isn’t that into you.” I thought that was a reference to the film He’s Just Not That Into You (a film which Jessica Biel seems like she would have been in but actually, she was not. More
Really. I am not lying. This person is a universally recognized sex symbol. Really. This is a picture from his pageant days. Are you ready for the GIF? Be ready, it’s coming right at you: More
If you like canned statements and staged photos, you’ll love everything about this. More
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Did anyone actually think that Jessica Biel would get Justin Timberlake down the aisle? More
Justin Timberlake has a feature in the May issue of Details, in which he admits a little wrongdoing on his fashion decisions as a teenager. More
Justin Timberlake has designed a line of home decor because OF FUCKING COURSE HE HAS. The collection–for HomeMint–was designed in collaboration with stylist and designer Estee Stanley. As for Justin’s storied design background, ElleDecor ominously describes his role in both a design and “curatorial” capacity. Did you guys know the word curate doesn’t fucking mean anything anymore? Sorry, people who work in museums. Let’s look at Timberlake’s designed/curated plates. More
Marilyn Monroe could pull it off, but can you? More
Who would ever have guessed that a famous would wear a big diamond upon announcing their fake engagement? More
