Topic: Kate Upton

See How F’ing All-American Kate Upton Is In Her Vogue Cover Shoot! Bonus: She Talks Weight (Because Duh)

After many a rumor and a long time comin’, Kate Upton landed the cover of American Vogue’s June issue. As per usual, she is portrayed in her carefree, sexy, “All-American” way. Her organs are actually filled with cherry pie and her circulatory system is comprised of red, white and blue streamers. More »

Kate Upton Is Dating P. Diddy, Which Makes Total Sense [UPDATED]

Amid all the discussion of Kate Upton as the average, predictable bro’s fantasy girlfriend, we seem to have lost track of an important question: who actually does get to date Kate Upton? Some people might not want to know, as that destroys the notion that she is some kind of Frankenbabe created by science to love only you, but it’s important to remember that she is a human woman with predictable desires of her own. More »

Kate Upton In Harper’s Bazaar Wearing Pretty Clothes With Adorable Animals

Q: Is there a baby monkey?

A: Of course there is a baby monkey. More »

Gillette Has Hired Kate Upton And Her Boobs To Shame Men Into Shaving Their Entire Bodies

Kate Upton: equal opportunity body hair shamer. More »

Kate Upton Has A Russian ‘Mail Order Bride’ Doppelgänger

Kate Upton Has A Russian 'Mail Order Bride' DoppelgÃ¤nger

However, if there is anybody I think would be an A+ grade to be the doppelgänger of, it’s probably somebody along the lines of Kate Upton. Why? Because chiquita has a lovely hair, great teeth, a bizarrely good dancing style and apparently a forcefield inside of her skin to protect all her insides from freezing in Antarctica. Fortunately for Upton’s look alike, she’s already used to the bitter cold of another part of the world: Russia. More »

Sports Illustrated Made Model Alyssa Miller Throw Up (And Wax Herself Completely)

“You have to make sure you are completely hairless, which is harder than it sounds. You know all that baby fuzz that covers your body? That has to go.” More »

Carine Roitfeld Cast Big Ang From Mob Wives

For the second issue of CR, however, Roitfeld made an actually unlikely decision. More »

Kate Upton’s Boobs Are Evidence Of A High Level Illuminati Conspiracy Involving Barack Obama

If you thought the most evil thing going on on Kate Upton‘s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover was the fact that she almost froze to death for it, think again. As anyone with an open mind can see, it is evidence of an illuminati conspiracy theory that goes straight to the top. More »

Sports Illustrated Models Somehow Only People In World To Suck At ‘Harlem Shake’

Most men may prefer their bodies but this is like, terrible. More »

What We're Reading:

This Will Drive Your Man Wild Before Sex
Source: The Stir
Woman Divorces Soldier Who Lost Legs Because She Wants A Normal Life
Source: The Stir
6 Ways Sex Can Make You More Attractive
Source: YourTango
3 Ways He Can Tell You're Faking An Orgasm
Source: YourTango
Why Kissing Matters During Foreplay
Source: YourTango

David Letterman’s Patronizing, Gross Questions Of Sports Illustrated Models Last Night

"How naked do you see yourself in five years?"

"Are you willing to kiss a tubby guy for a Super Bowl commercial?"

"Will you keep your mouth shut if we lose a couple of girls to shark attacks?"

Listening to creepy older men talk to young pretty women is extraordinarily uncomfortable. This is not because all older men are inherently creepy; it’s because some of them make it creepy and inappropriate, but young women — even and especially … More »

Kate Upton Looks ‘Cold, lol’ On Her Second Consecutive Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Cover

She’s done it again, and this time, in a parka (albeit a totally useless one)! Kate Upton and her cleavage scored yet another cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition, looking stunning as well as justifiably chilly in the polar picture. More »

Red Carpet Rundown: Celebrities Step Out For The Super Bowl

Some kind of major sporting event occurred this weekend and celebrities came out of the woodwork for various sponsored parties. Apparently in observance of an event called the Super Bowl, a bunch of large companies threw lavish parties with expansive gifting suites, luring out the likes of Candice Swanepoel, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Olivia Munn, Hayden Panettiere, Ashley Greene and more in their tightest, brightest and shortest. More »

What Is An ‘All-American’ Female Body?

Can “all-American” body types include every other veneer painted red or blue, as well as a pair of star-shaped nippes? More »

Kate Upton Washes A Car In Slow Motion

Remember when Kate Upton fucked a cheeseburger in that commercial for Carl’s Jr.? And then starred in an ad for Zoo York that was subsequently banned?

Well, she’s… back. More »

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