After many a rumor and a long time comin’, Kate Upton landed the cover of American Vogue’s June issue. As per usual, she is portrayed in her carefree, sexy, “All-American” way. Her organs are actually filled with cherry pie and her circulatory system is comprised of red, white and blue streamers. More
Topic: Kate Upton
Amid all the discussion of Kate Upton as the average, predictable bro’s fantasy girlfriend, we seem to have lost track of an important question: who actually does get to date Kate Upton? Some people might not want to know, as that destroys the notion that she is some kind of Frankenbabe created by science to love only you, but it’s important to remember that she is a human woman with predictable desires of her own. More
Q: Is there a baby monkey?
A: Of course there is a baby monkey. More
Kate Upton: equal opportunity body hair shamer. More
However, if there is anybody I think would be an A+ grade to be the doppelgänger of, it’s probably somebody along the lines of Kate Upton. Why? Because chiquita has a lovely hair, great teeth, a bizarrely good dancing style and apparently a forcefield inside of her skin to protect all her insides from freezing in Antarctica. Fortunately for Upton’s look alike, she’s already used to the bitter cold of another part of the world: Russia. More
“You have to make sure you are completely hairless, which is harder than it sounds. You know all that baby fuzz that covers your body? That has to go.” More
For the second issue of CR, however, Roitfeld made an actually unlikely decision. More
If you thought the most evil thing going on on Kate Upton‘s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover was the fact that she almost froze to death for it, think again. As anyone with an open mind can see, it is evidence of an illuminati conspiracy theory that goes straight to the top. More
Listening to creepy older men talk to young pretty women is extraordinarily uncomfortable. This is not because all older men are inherently creepy; it’s because some of them make it creepy and inappropriate, but young women — even and especially … More
She’s done it again, and this time, in a parka (albeit a totally useless one)! Kate Upton and her cleavage scored yet another cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition, looking stunning as well as justifiably chilly in the polar picture. More
Some kind of major sporting event occurred this weekend and celebrities came out of the woodwork for various sponsored parties. Apparently in observance of an event called the Super Bowl, a bunch of large companies threw lavish parties with expansive gifting suites, luring out the likes of Candice Swanepoel, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Olivia Munn, Hayden Panettiere, Ashley Greene and more in their tightest, brightest and shortest. More
Can “all-American” body types include every other veneer painted red or blue, as well as a pair of star-shaped nippes? More
Remember when Kate Upton fucked a cheeseburger in that commercial for Carl’s Jr.? And then starred in an ad for Zoo York that was subsequently banned?
Well, she’s… back. More