Topic: Lists

Things Your Bra Supports

Your decision to stop talking to Devon even though the two of you promised you would try to stay friends
The military policies of the state of Israel
Anonymous
Single moms More »

Creeds, In Order

Creed

The RomanCreed

The Engineers’ Creed

The Nicene Creed More »

What People Look Like When They’re Listening

Resigned
Stoic
Like they have just heard a very funny joke but are too weak to laugh as the result of a vitamin deficiency
Beatific
Like their mouth is full of bees but they are trying very hard not to panic More »

What Your Favorite Book In Sixth Grade Says About You, Part III

The Chronicles of Narnia (any title): You won the school spelling bee but lost in the second round at the district level. You pretended not to mind (who cares about losing a stupid spelling bee?) but you did. As an adult, you either love or hate C.S. Lewis passionately. There is no middle ground, C.S. Lewis-wise. More »

What Your Favorite Book In Sixth Grade Says About You, Part II

Previously: Part I.

Goosebumps (any title): The “tomboy” label stuck with you years after you felt that you’d grown out of it. It didn’t matter how you dressed or how you wore your hair or how quiet and low you pitched your voice; girls never told you their secret crushes and boys never bothered to tease you in the hallways. You wore dozens of thin leather bracelets on each wrist every single day. More »

What You’re Doing At Sundance

Watching the ‘secret Disneyland film’ everyone’s talking about:

$1M feature film shot entirely inside Disney theme parks w/o Disney’s knowledge. Genius! And unreleasable? latimes.com/entertainment/…

— Andy Ihnatko (@Ihnatko) January 20, 2013

Les MisÃ©rables: French Revolutions, In Order

If you’re anything like me, all this talk about the Les Mis movie, with its glancing attentions to the Paris Uprising of 1832, has reignited your long-dormant interest in French military history (I assume you’re already all talked out on Anne Hathaway’s weight loss and Russell Crowe’s singing voice). Between 1789 and 1905 the French tried to have a revolution at least once a year, to keep things fresh. Here are a few of the best ones. More »

The Annotated Dr. Bronner’s Label, Part IV

It’s a little hard to believe it’s already been four weeks. The level on my giant Dr. Bronner’s pepperiment soap jug has barely diminished. I’ll miss this.

8th: The mark of the mature man is his ability to work brave, teaching all, every slave, how to replace coal-oil-gas-mineral-nuclear, unemployed-inflation, welfare-waste-war with Essene Birth-Control for very girl, Swiss 6000 year Universal Military Training UMT for full- employment, raising 1 trillion Israel-system trees, 2 million Dutch dikes, 3 Greek mirror- solars, 4 Hannibal windpower plants, 5 billion Amish-Amway-AT&T profitsharing jobs, 6 Milorganite plants, 76 million Planetemples teaching All-One-God-Faith, Austrian music, Babylon roof-gardens, California rain forests, China-bikes, Cartha-UMT, Catspaw sandals, compost tree, C02 bomber, the Moral ABC, cattle-lemon-Esperanto. More »

The Annotated Dr. Bronner’s Label, Part III

Love is like a willful bird, do you want it? It flies away! Yet, when you least expect its bliss, it turns around and it’s here to stay! For centuries man struggles, half-asleep, half-living! Small, jealous, bickering with mountains of red tape! To be awakened the night God chose giving His great reward for hard work, the Moral ABC-unity-ecstasy-love evolving man above the ape! More »

Metaphors

This kitten’s got claws. Catfight. Purred like a kitten. What a catty thing to say. A real hellcat. Don’t have kittens about it. More »

When You Change Your Mind

You’ll change your mind when you have one of your own.
You’ll change your mind when you get a little bit older.
You’ll change your mind when it happens to you someday.
You’ll change your mind when you just try it.
You’ll change your mind when you just try it one more time. More »

An Exercise In Male Imagery

A man and his dog. Every man for himself. Every man has his price. Everyman. A man for all seasons. A man Friday. A man of action. A man of few words. A strongman. Man in the street. A man of letters. An innocent man. A man of his word. More »

Four Biblical Murderesses, In Order

4. Athaliah Killed: rival claimants to the throne of Judah Using: unknown Source: 2 Chronicles 22:10-11 “When Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she proceeded to destroy the whole royal family of the house of … More »

The Keeping It Real Index

The world is a busy place, and you are almost certainly the type of woman too busy dry-laundering her business wigs and checking herself for signs of Lyme disease to keep tabs on who’s keeping it real and who isn’t. That’s why The Gloss has compiled this helpful index to remind you where everyone stands in terms of absolute realness. More »

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