Topic: Lust

Tell Us Your Crush For Our Valentine’s Day Contest, Win Prizes!

Tell Us Your Crush For Our Valentine's Day Contest, Win Prizes!

Happy Valentine’s day week, almost! I know some of you are probably in relationships. That is fine. Some of you are probably not in relationships. That is also fine.

However I hope everyone IN THE WORLD has some manner of unrequited crush. If you do not have one, that is not fine, you should cultivate one immediately. If you need an incentive to do so, we’re giving away a fantastic pack of perfume prizes. All you need to do is e-mail Jennifer [at] and write 600 to 800 words about your crush. And, of course, tell us your full name and mailing address (so we know where to send the prizes to) as well as the name you’d like the piece published under (if you like to keep it anonymous, we understand). We will post your submissions through Valentine’s day week, and vote for the best one at the week. The winner will receive: More »

Hot Stuff Guys Used To Do: Dueling

 Hot Stuff Guys Used To Do:  Dueling

You know how sometimes you’re out at, I don’t know, a company picnic, and two men just break out into fisticuffs over you? Suddenly they just begin pummeling one another for your love? And they call one another rapscallions? And roustabouts?


I’ve never been to a company picnic. It seems like the kind of thing that might happen. With the right crudites, anything can happen.

Anyhow, wouldn’t it be great if, instead of just using their tiny primitive fists, those men drew swords, or, hell, pearl handled revolvers and just began… oh. Then they’d die, probably.

Okay, we started this fun new column in a dark place, apparently. More »