Topic: Manners

How To Avoid Being A Complete Asshole Just Because ‘It’s The Holidays’

How To Avoid Being A Complete Asshole Just Because 'It's The Holidays'
Only hang out with people you like
Be patient
Do not light things on fire
Don't freak out over giving everybody everything
Do not pepper spray people

As anybody who has ever worked in food service or retail knows, the holiday season sucks. They just completely and totally suck. You’re overworked, probably underpaid, everybody tips you less because they’re trying to save money — which is understandable but nonetheless very frustrating — and your bosses are constantly stressed out at you. Oh, and people will yell at you. For no reason. Just… no reason. You’ll smile sweetly because you have to, but inside, you will contemplate headbutting them with the strength of 1000 Guy Fieris. More »

Illustrated Guide: How To Be A Good American Tourist In Europe

Illustrated Guide: How To Be A Good American Tourist In Europe
First of all, always speak English to everybody.
On that note...
...Carry a megaphone instead.
Wherever possible, use humor to communicate approval.
Though the same goes for disapproval.

We recently got back from a wonderful week on vacation in Berlin*. While there, we mistakenly partook in the local drunk food specialty–currywurst!–before heading off to a nice restaurant for our last evening in the city. Sure enough, the currywurst did not agree with us and we sat there in a crowd of urbane Germans with horrible visions of throwing up all over them and their fancy restaurant. It then occurred to us: nobody wants to be that American, vomitting all over the locals! Hence, today’s Illustrated Guide is intended to aid our fellow Americans in giving a good impression while visiting those threateningly sophisticated nations known collectively as Europe. More »

How Do You Respond To A Passive-Aggressive “You’re Welcome“?

How Do You Respond To A Passive-Aggressive "You're Welcome"?

This week, a terrible lady made Deputy Editor Ashley Cardiff feel very bad about her own manners–which defeats the purpose of manners! Ashley told EIC Jennifer Wright, who has also experienced the toxic, passive aggressive “You’re welcome,” and she explained that when people do this, you have to scream at them. You have to scream hard. Here, they discuss the best way to shame people for being passive aggressive assholes… More »

The Art of the Subject Change

The Art of the Subject Change

It’s a social scenario we’ve all encountered. You find yourself talking about something you don’t want to be talking about, and suddenly, you need an out. There’s no good way to escape the conversation or to get away from the person you’re talking to. You need a subject change, and you need it immediately. More »

Bullish: Boost Your Career by Never Being Late Again (It’s Not Actually Cute)

Bullish: Boost Your Career by Never Being Late Again (It's Not Actually Cute)

There are lots of things — such as having your phone turned off for not paying the bill and deciding not to shave your pits because you love nature — that are sort of cute when you’re young and adorable and become increasingly grotesque as you age. There’s a life cycle on hapless damsel-in-distress behavior — even Sandra Bullock has outlived her ability to play a winsome, helpless idiot in our nation’s romantic comedy industry. More »

Modern Etiquette: Does Being Polite Make You a Pushover?

Modern Etiquette: Does Being Polite Make You a Pushover?

When I was taking cotillion classes as a kid, our teachers would reiterate that the point of etiquette was to be an equalizer. In other words, since we all knew what politenesses were expected of us in social situations, everyone would feel comfortable. However, that’s not the case. Different cultures have different standards of etiquette, and etiquette often becomes a way to quickly indicate who came from the ‘right’ background and who didn’t. While common etiquette united the kids in my social circle, anyone from a different background would have immediately given themselves away as an outsider when they didn’t grab the right fork or know the proper pleasantry to use. More »

Bullish: How to Remain Blissfully Unfrustrated in the Face of Other People’s Incompetence

Bullish: How to Remain Blissfully Unfrustrated in the Face of Other People's Incompetence

You know how some people say that alcoholics have to hit rock bottom before they become committed to change?

It’s possible to hit the rock-bottom of stress. When I was 24, the company I had been running for five years failed and my office landlord sued me and locked me out of the building, causing my office plants to die of dehydration. Before, I had been a neurotic, shouting, stomping, panic-attacked stresspuppy. However, at some point during the breakdown of my company, the stress-producing part of my brain became so overloaded that it broke. Like I blew a speaker. And now? I’m chill. More chill than I’d have ever thought I had the genetic capacity to be. And all without having to spend time being tortured in a third world prison (another way that people end up realizing that the little things don’t matter so much, although often at the expense of the normal functioning of important body parts).

After watching a long series of boyfriends end calls to customer service by telling a call center worker in Mumbai to fuck herself because she is a dumb bitch — or return home in a murderous rage following a sojourn to the cell phone store / a TSA screening / returning the cable box to the cable company — I thought maybe I could share some tips for mentally turning other people’s incompetence to your own advantage. More »

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