According to the Sarasota Dolphin Research Program, dolphins not only refer to each other by specific “abstract names,” but they also pattern their whistles after their friends, just like we do in college when we’re not sure what identity to have yet and the girl down the hall seems to have everything figured out so why not just do that. More
So, someone named their child Hashtag.
Little Hashtag is going to, from an early age, have a deep rooted desire to compartmentalize everything. You know that scene in high school movies where some nerdy kid shows a chart of how the cafeteria arranged in order of popularity? Hastag is going to do that. Unfortunately, since no one has ever done that in real life, people are going to think that Hashtag is a lunatic.
But he’s going to make great lists, later.
Here are some likely outcomes for other names, since this will be a trend now. More
When she didn’t think we were taking her seriously enough, she posted her future baby names on Facebook. More
“When I found out his name was Ronald, I realized I couldn’t go out on the date with him. It’s such a bad name!” More
Because Tom Cruise is weird. More
I teach evening classes to adults, and I often have about 90 students at a time. I remember all their names (at least the names of the students who show up regularly).
My first year of teaching, I didn’t. I just gave up: there are 16 of them per class and only one of me, and also a lot of them are named “Iftikhar” and “Joo-Eun.”
Once, I forgot a student’s name, and he said, “It’s John. John. Like a toilet.” And that made me sad. And I did indeed think of a toilet every time I called on him. This is not how John or I want to live.
There are some very good ways to remember names. More
The people over at the Frisky listed the five different types of sluts. We don’t use that word. We call those girls “friend-people”! Also, we just think it’s a bad term, because we prefer “floozy” or “harlot.” However, we do frequently describe ladies as being “nice.” Here are the different “nice girls” you’ll encounter. Some of them aren’t actually nice! More
The hottest baby names of 2011 are being predicted by Nameberry and one of them is Luna! More
CONGRATULATIONS VANESSA! TO YOU AND YOUR 10.2 PARTNERS!
(10.2 – does this qualify you for slut-congratulating? Is this a thing we can start? Slut congratulating? Okay, 10.2 is the minimum for congratulations. I am sure this is true because a male contributor to Cosmo magazine once said that if you have had more than 10 partners, you should lie about it, because otherwise your boyfriend will imagine you blowing an entire fraternity. Which seemed oddly specific! So, slut congratulations to all the 10-plus women. As for the rest of you, don’t worry. You’ll get there. One day. God willing.) More
The thing I really like the most about Batman names is how unique they all are. For instance, mine is CatWoman, because my name is comprised only of bizarre symbols, like the artist formerly known as Prince’s. More
I know fashion is an ego-filled business, but I think Marc Jacobs just beat Donald Trump for “man most in love with his own name.” I think the only way this bag could get better is if it were carried … More
We don’t usually pass press releases onto you (because “please, send me some more press releases” is a sentence that will never be uttered, ever, by anyone) especially ones with random, unnecessary ellipsis, but check out this guy’s last name: … More
If you think Apple and Suri are the most oddly named celebrity kids, you haven’t even heard the half of it. Here’s a list of some of my favorite jaw-droppingly awful celebrity child monikers. See if you can match the kid with his or her parent(s).
Scout LaRue (girl)
Reign Beau (girl)
Pilot Inspektor (boy) More