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Probably the best way to help overweight people lose weight is by not allowing them to participate in athletic activities that would aid them in losing weight. Oh. Wait. That makes no sense at all! Nonetheless, people over 260 pounds are not allowed to participate in the new bike sharing program in New York. More
If you are a woman society deems overweight, they also think you are probably a criminal. Why? Because your excess body weight gives you the energy to be a jewel thief that many of us lack? I don’t know. It’s pretty crazy. More
Do I sometimes cringe at Lena Dunham’s sex scenes? Yes, but that’s because they possess the world’s most uncomfortable dirty talk. Do I cringe because her ass looks actually sort of similarly to my own? Not at all, because there’s nothing wrong with cellulite and having a BMI over 20. More
It has nothing to do with wanting everyone to be healthy. More
People are in a tizzy over the upcoming book targeted at 6 year olds, Maggie Goes on A Diet. Sure, maybe that’s “completely insane” but how else will kids be ready for topless photos in 4 years? Or lingerie right now? That aside, we’ve been learning how food will get you killed from children’s books since infancy. Here is what we’ve learned. More
Or, I guess what I really mean is, how are they not as cripplingly obese as the rest of us? What are they doing right? Oh, and this is my question because I can’t begin to understand why we’ve universally gained weight in a 10 year period. Chipolte? Yeah, probably that.
So, here are some theories I have about people in Colorado: More
The New York Post says that most women would rather be celibate for a year than sexually satisfied and overweight. For myself, I would rather be skinny and incredibly sexually satisfied. Like Grace Kelly! But Grace Kelly with a little more oomph, you know? Oomph. (Boobies). I would like to look like Grace Kelly and spend the entire day with my lover, who left his career as an English professor to be a billionaire. I would like to lie on the beach with him and have him give me a book where all the words are raised, like in braille, but raised with diamonds. And while he is doing that I will just run my fingers over my ribs, counting them, because I am so skinny. And then I want to eat peanut butter pie, because I want the skinny to be effortless. And then I would like us to do it like the marmosets do on The Discovery Channel.
That is what I would like.
Ashley doesn’t care, but Ashley just hates sex. More
So, my first response to the statistic that 90% of Americans believe they eat healthy was to murmur “how? How!?” More
Great news, ladies! The 57 year old President of Botswana is ready to settle down. But he’s looking for special attributes in a wife. He wants her to be “slim and beautiful.”
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Because they have really ginormous nails, the big people?
Sore shoulders. Achy hips. Throbbing knees. Lower back pain. Creaky bones. Regardless of how many birthday candles we have blown out in our lifetime, the mind will continue to tell us we are still 30 years old, that we can … More
