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1. The Wake Up
Head pounding, room spinning, wake up, groggily putting pieces together after debauchery of last night’s birthday celebration. Naked in bed. My fiancé beside me. Memory flash of him picking me up off of hallway entrance floor last night, carrying me upstairs, undressing me like a baby. OMG! FUCK! I have a baby! Dear god, what kind of mother am I? More
Before I proceed with the following story, I should note that both The Gloss and myself are very pro-sex worker. I personally go to strip clubs on a weekly basis — it is incredibly normal here in Portland to get … More
For the next nine or so months, there will be two very, very popular babies in the news. One will belong to actual royalty for whom I often feel a bit sorry for since the woman can’t drink water without being on the cover of a tabloid, whereas the other will belong to two people who have counteracted my acid reflux medication numerous times both separately and together. But apparently, the latter will not actually suck nearly as much as we all may imagine. More
When you start actually watching your kid sleep, you’re probably considered a “helicopter parent.” Or Edward from Twilight, either way, man. More
Jennifer: Do you want a boy of a girl? Don’t say you want something healthy. Take it as a given that your baby is going to be a mutant who shoots lasers out of its eyeballs. So, very healthy. More
North Carolina’s Odessa Clay, 30, was arrested late last month for giving her daughter a “small, heart-shaped tattoo near her right shoulder.” She’s been charged, naturally, with tattooing a person under 18.
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People are really pissed about this. More
It’s not a secret that mothers and fathers are now actively parenting in the age of the “mini-me.” And with back to school shopping underway, that sect of the parenting world is rolling out the credit cards, particularly with the growing children’s luxury brand industry. This means why opt for Target dresses when you can get Christian Dior silk party dress? Why get your child those back-to-school Adidas when $200 Gucci sneakers are available in kids’ sizes? More
Heidi Klum was spotted out in New York yesterday with 2-year-old daughter Lou and 8-year-old daughter Leni, both of whom were wearing red lipstick. More
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“Worry about your pale selves. Thanks!” More
Most of the time, I think I probably don’t want to have kids. Then I see an awesome little kid do something like this, and I think maybe someday. More
Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s little bundle of joy, Blue Ivy, has just entered the world and already rumors about her outlandish lifestyle are spreading. The Post is claiming that Blue Ivy possesses something to the tune of $1.5 million in lavish gifts, including A SOLID GOLD ROCKING HORSE. More
Prepare to be horrified on multiple levels! More
OMG WE HAVE NEVER SEEN THE LIKES OF THIS BEFORE!!! More
