Have you often thought to yourself: ‘I always think I will enjoy gumball machines more than I do?’ I do. Sure, the gumball machine seems all fun and futuristic with its round glass top (like a lightbulb, almost! A weird lightbulb!) and it’s so colorful, and full of pep, and it reminds you of childhood. And isn’t it great when the gumballs roll down the spirals? Hah! Rolling things! Fun for everyone but Sisyphus! More
This is not personal at all, it is an important question about life in our times. More
I went to an 17 years old’s house party. It was an accident, I swear. More
Who cares about those lame sweaters that were two sizes too big? The fat name has returned to the North Pole and now it’s time to prepare for the biggest party day of the year. This year, instead of battling the barrage of amateurs who only go out to the bars twice a year, you’ve decided to invite some of your closest random acquaintances over to your place for a Ball Dropping Bash. (By the way, you really should have had someone look over those invitations. They might have convinced you to reconsider the title.) There’s only one small problem. Bars are nice because they have all kinds of booze just sitting there, ready to be consumed. Your house has a couple bottles of Pinot and a six pack that your guy friend left over there two years ago. FYI, beer doesn’t actually age like wine. That shit is skunked.
So we’re here to help with some great cocktail recipes for your New Years celebration. Buy a couple cases of domestic beer and have some of these drinks whipped up in advance and you’ll be ready to ring in the New Year the way god intended. Completely sloshed. More
We’ve done a lot of investigative, eggnog fueled research on this. If you can find all 7 guys personality types at a holiday party, just scream “bingo” or something. We’ll be there. We’ll get it. We’ll think it’s hilarious. More
Predictably, he come across like a douchebag. More
The book release party for Mindy Kaling’s new tome, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” looks like it was one of the most awesome parties of the year. More
Did you know that there is a phenomenon that exists in which men who are about to become fathers have parties that are like bachelor parties, but they’re cleverly called “dadchelor” parties? More
“What is boxed wine?” my friend asks. I looked at her like she had just landed in the coffee shop in a spaceship. More
Apparently, some people think that leaked pictures of a person in their underwear have the potential to shock the public enough to permanently damage the person’s reputation. More
Last night in Toronto, I was invited to an exclusive event to celebrate tomorrow’s wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton. Located in the Windsor Arms Hotel, a luxury hotel in celebrity-hangout Yorkville, I, along with some other very lucky … More
I’ll own up to not always being the best neighbor. I’ve been known, for instance, to have gatherings and not invite the people who live across from me, and then proceed to feel like the hugest douchebag on the planet for weeks afterwards, every time I see them.
To spare you the same pain, allow me to suggest a few neighborly things you should always do: More