Topic: Pick-Up Lines

Real Talk: What’s The Worst Pick-Up Line That’s Ever Been Used On You?

Real Talk: What's The Worst Pick-Up Line That's Ever Been Used On You?

We’ve all experienced it: that pick-up line that is so absurdly awful you can’t help but laugh on the inside even as you are arranging your face and body language into the sternest and most no-nonsense weirdo-repelling expression you can muster. Unfortunately for the people who use them, these lines rarely work for their intended purpose, but they are certainly good for some chuckles after the fact. It was with that in mind that I rounded up the worst (greatest?) pick-up lines used on my friends and myself in recent memory. Names have been omitted to protect the pursued. More »

Gallery: The Creepiest Pick-Up Lines From A 1973 ‘Humor’ Book Published By Playboy

Gallery: The Creepiest Pick-Up Lines From A 1973 'Humor' Book Published By Playboy
On Dating A Pair Of Disembodied Legs
Flattery Via Feigned Pedophilia
More Hott Pedo Action
It Just Keeps Going!
Getting At The Root Of The Problem

Hey fellas! Would you like to be funny not in the next life, and not in the one after that, but in your own lifetime? Look no further than this book of jokes and anecdotes that I found at a thrift store over the weekend, which was published by Playboy Press in 1973. Of especial interest to the amorously minded man is the chapter titled “Wit, Whimsy and Women,” which is simply brimming with rapey excellent advice on what to say to a woman with whom you’d like to “score.” Basically, you should pretend like you’re a pedophile and you’ve mistaken her for a child, because “every girl, no matter how young she is, likes to think she looks younger than she really is.” Here are some of my favorite lines from said chapter. More »

Video: This Man Would Like You To Know He Does Not Care That You Have A Boyfriend

Video: This Man Would Like You To Know He Does Not Care That You Have A Boyfriend

Now, at which part of this video did the man win your love? Because for me, I think it was the part after he declared that “even if you go to jail, you can’t give up.” Or maybe just the part where he just started doing crazy shit at the camera. Or maybe it was the part when I just remembered that women should never their homes. Oh, wait. That was the entire video. On that note, I would like to invite you all to Sunday night puzzle club at my apartment. I assume you will be there, if your boyfriend is not busy controlling you. More »

Party Favors: Beetles Have Sex to Stay Hydrated

Party Favors: Beetles Have Sex to Stay Hydrated

Really, it’s only logical that female beetles have sex to stay alive. – Science Daily

Facebook froze hot girls’ accounts because they thought they were ugly, fat men in disguise. – Urlesque

This blanket is so soft, it’s “appropriately” called the Vagisoft. – The Frisky

Guys try explaining why they don’t call you back after sleeping with you more than once. – Lemondrop More »

The Heart Monitor: Top 10 Worst, Overused, Unsuccessful Pick-up Lines

The Heart Monitor: Top 10 Worst, Overused, Unsuccessful Pick-up Lines

Flirting — an evolved iteration of the mating ritual — is a common sport among singles of all species. Birds flaunt their feathers, dogs sniff each others’ butts, and men use pick-up lines.

Pick-up lines have been around since the cavemen (“Hey baby, I invented fire — can you light mine?). Some of them actually work, such as “Can I buy you a drink?” or “I’d love to take you out. Can I have your number?” But most men don’t rely on such banal, successful lines. They prefer the embarrassingly bad lines that are so cheesy and inappropriate, it’s no wonder they’re still single. More »

Gallery: Nerd Nite’s Best Pick-Up Lines

Gallery: Nerd Nite's Best Pick-Up Lines
%22In%20A%20Post-Apocalyptic%20World,%20How%20Would%20Society%20Even%20Use%20You?%22
%22If%20You%20Were%20A%20Font,%20You'd%20Be%20Fine%20Print.%22
%22I%20Was%20The%20World's%20First%20Test-Tube%20Baby%22
%22Computers%20Make%20Me%20Horny%22
%22If%20I%20Saw%20You%20In%20The%20Library,%20I'd%20Check%20You%20Out.%22

We know that every single one of you would have loved to have been at Nerd Nite in Brooklyn last Friday. Because you would have learned about the history of illegal pinball! And Monopoly (ripped off from a secretary, a tale of betrayal)! And, oh, you could have done the Nerd Nite speed dating. If you couldn’t be there, don’t worry, we kept track of the 10 best nerdy pick-up lines, and recorded them here: More »

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