Enforcing manners and gentlemanly behavior? Awesome. A brunette as a decoration? Meh; not my jam. More
Topic: Pick-Up Lines
I CAN’T FLIRT. OK? YES, IT’S EMBARRASSING. More
We’ve all experienced it: that pick-up line that is so absurdly awful you can’t help but laugh on the inside even as you are arranging your face and body language into the sternest and most no-nonsense weirdo-repelling expression you can muster. Unfortunately for the people who use them, these lines rarely work for their intended purpose, but they are certainly good for some chuckles after the fact. It was with that in mind that I rounded up the worst (greatest?) pick-up lines used on my friends and myself in recent memory. Names have been omitted to protect the pursued. More
Yankee’s A-Rod is slick with the ladies. More
“Heaven must be missing one hell of an angel… or something.” More
Hey fellas! Would you like to be funny not in the next life, and not in the one after that, but in your own lifetime? Look no further than this book of jokes and anecdotes that I found at a thrift store over the weekend, which was published by Playboy Press in 1973. Of especial interest to the amorously minded man is the chapter titled “Wit, Whimsy and Women,” which is simply brimming with
rapey excellent advice on what to say to a woman with whom you’d like to “score.” Basically, you should pretend like you’re a pedophile and you’ve mistaken her for a child, because “every girl, no matter how young she is, likes to think she looks younger than she really is.” Here are some of my favorite lines from said chapter. More
Quick! You see a male model! If you are in a Fashion’s Night Out-centric city you will probably be seeing a male model tonight. You can’t pick him up by talking about dinosaurs like you normally would. He’s a male model! What do you say? Quick! Use this handy guide. More
Now, at which part of this video did the man win your love? Because for me, I think it was the part after he declared that “even if you go to jail, you can’t give up.” Or maybe just the part where he just started doing crazy shit at the camera. Or maybe it was the part when I just remembered that women should never their homes. Oh, wait. That was the entire video. On that note, I would like to invite you all to Sunday night puzzle club at my apartment. I assume you will be there, if your boyfriend is not busy controlling you. More
Our friends at TheFrisky compiled a great list of “Things a Guy Could Say That Would Make Us Fall Truly, Madly Deeply In Love.” They include statements like “You looked a little PMSy, so I baked you chocolate chip cookies and rented “Bridget Jones’ Diary” and “Let me tell you how I feel about you.” We made a list, too. It has different things on it. More
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Really, it’s only logical that female beetles have sex to stay alive. – Science Daily
Facebook froze hot girls’ accounts because they thought they were ugly, fat men in disguise. – Urlesque
This blanket is so soft, it’s “appropriately” called the Vagisoft. – The Frisky
Flirting — an evolved iteration of the mating ritual — is a common sport among singles of all species. Birds flaunt their feathers, dogs sniff each others’ butts, and men use pick-up lines.
Pick-up lines have been around since the cavemen (“Hey baby, I invented fire — can you light mine?). Some of them actually work, such as “Can I buy you a drink?” or “I’d love to take you out. Can I have your number?” But most men don’t rely on such banal, successful lines. They prefer the embarrassingly bad lines that are so cheesy and inappropriate, it’s no wonder they’re still single. More
We know that every single one of you would have loved to have been at Nerd Nite in Brooklyn last Friday. Because you would have learned about the history of illegal pinball! And Monopoly (ripped off from a secretary, a tale of betrayal)! And, oh, you could have done the Nerd Nite speed dating. If you couldn’t be there, don’t worry, we kept track of the 10 best nerdy pick-up lines, and recorded them here: More
“Scientists” (barflies) just discovered that the best pick-up line is “hello.” Alternatively, “how are you?” That’s all well and good, except that they’re wrong. The best pick-up line is “if I could rearrange the alphabet and put U and I … More
Some of our favorites in this inspired compilation include: “Can I have a lock of your hair?” “You Amish?” “I want to drink your blood.”