Kate Middleton didn’t spend yesterday like a lot of people (wearing those obnoxious green martian antennae and screaming through their vomit in public to the disgust and ire of rational humans everywhere). More
Topic: Prince William
During a temporary split from Middleton, Prince William courted* Isabella Calthorpe, oft-cited by British tabloids as “the one that got away” (apparently Prince Charles gets wistful because Calthorpe is well bred or whatever).
Not so well-bred, however, that she was above inviting Hello! to her wedding. More
Look, Kate Middleton is a really pretty woman, so why does this official portrait of her seem to capture her at her most tired? More
They’re going to be better, monarchies.
Why was this photo of Princess Diana not to be published? More
As you know, Kate Middleton is afflicted with an extremely rare condition known as Pregnancy Being A Waking Fucking Nightmare (no, seriously, it’s essentially nine months of dry heaving). Luckily, every single Kate Middleton development must be exhaustively covered by blogs like this one, and today we have a (somewhat) interesting development in the saga of the royal womb. More
And its name shall be Kreation.
Hah, no, probably not. I bet it will be Karen. Or Balthazar. I just really want that name to make a comeback. If not with Princess William and Kate Middleton then with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West who are, God help us, our version of royalty. More
Maybe! There are clues! There are clues about the gender of Kate Middleton‘s royal baby to be (who I am still betting will be named Diana, or, terrifying, Dion. Or Balthazar.) And the clues point to it being a girl. More
Well, this is really sad. Remember the people who prank called the hospital where Kate Middleton was staying? They pretended to be the Queen, and got a nurse to give them some information? The nurse basically said that Kate was doing fine? The nurse’s name was Jacintha Saldanha. She is now dead, in what is thought to be a suicide. More
Okay, I have already said that Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge’s, royal baby should be named either “Oona” or “Balthazar” because I have the best taste. Also, I think Balthazar is the kind of name that makes people think twice before tangling with Britain, you know? Oona doesn’t really do anything, but it’s really fun to say. Oona. Oo-na. Oooooooona.
In all likelihood, Prince William and Kate are actually going to name the baby Diana. More
Kate Middleton – or Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge – is officially pregnant, you guys! More
Here is something nice. More
The white man’s burden never looked so snazzy. More
RUH ROH! More