Topic: prom

Illustrated Guide: 10 Things You Need To Know About Prom (From Someone Who Never Went)

Illustrated Guide: 10 Things You Need To Know About Prom (From Someone Who Never Went)
1. At some point, everyone will dance in unison.
2. All proms have themes.
3. If you have glasses, take them off.
4. Someone will spike the punchbowl.
5. There is a punchbowl (?)

Prom is a formal event for high school students that takes place near the end of senior year… but it’s so much more than that. Prom is also a very important event in a young woman’s life. You might say it’s the most important thing she ever does (besides get married, obviously).

Here’s a true testament to the massive significance of prom: I know everything about it and I didn’t even go*. Prom’s influence is so far-reaching, so pervasive, so unquantifiable that I know pretty much all there is to know about it, thanks to pop culture. Here, I’ve helpfully narrowed down the 10 most important things about prom in one helpful Illustrated Guide. More »

The Six Girls You Meet At Prom

The Six Girls You Meet At Prom
The Girl Crying In The Bathroom
The Girl Who Turns Out To Be Awesome
The Girl Who Decided This Would Be A Great Night To Take Up Drinking
The Girl Who Has Decided To Lose Her Virginity
The Girl Who Really Expects To Be Prom Queen

Look, we know that you just wanted a quiet night reading Proust at home, but you got seduced into this Prom thing, mostly because of the dresses. Maybe a little bit because Carrie made you believe that it would be the night you’d finally get telekinetic powers. That probably didn’t happen (did it? Come help us build a fire, Jack London scares us more than you ever will). No. And maybe you didn’t ruin prom, either. But you almost certainly encountered one of the following girls. More »

9 Ways I Ruined Prom

9 Ways I Ruined Prom
I bought a fugly dress
That dress was super uncomfortable
I used an entire bottle of Dep hair gel
I agreed to go with my pseudo boyfriend, the bad guy
So then I dumped the bad guy and asked my platonic friend, Frank

It was ten years ago this month that I ruined my own prom: I bought an ugly dress, dipped my head in a bowl of hair gel, threw myself at the wrong guy, and drank too much. Do I have regrets? Uh, yeah. I wish I could send myself crib notes from the future . . . then I would have at least gotten laid. More »

I Remember Prom: I Didn’t Go

I Remember Prom: I Didn't Go

I wanted to write this for the girl or guy who was like me in high school with no interest in prom. “Prom season” can cause so much pressure to plan the “perfect evening” for what is, lets face it, a very insignificant night of your life. I wanted to let any girl or guy questioning going to prom know they don’t have to. More »

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