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There are lots of things — such as having your phone turned off for not paying the bill and deciding not to shave your pits because you love nature — that are sort of cute when you’re young and adorable and become increasingly grotesque as you age. There’s a life cycle on hapless damsel-in-distress behavior — even Sandra Bullock has outlived her ability to play a winsome, helpless idiot in our nation’s romantic comedy industry. More
Have you ever noticed that every religion/ethnicity has its own definition of “time”? I’ve been told that black/Jewish/Indian/Italian/basically everyone time is a nice way of saying “late.” However, I am not on any of those times. I am on “early for everything, always” time. And I feel like a total fucking loser.
I’m on Deaf People Time. Both of my parents are hearing impaired, and in the deaf community there’s often a rush to get somewhere early so you can get a seat with a good vision line for the interpreter. I’m also Southern, and was taught that being late for things is not fashionable, just rude. But moving to New York made me the odd one out. I always bring a book, because even my most prompt friend will still get there five minutes after me. I’ve lied to habitually late friends about start dates of events so that they show up on time. More
