Most of the time when celebrities talk, I don’t expect things I will care about to come out of their mouths. Things that annoy me, sure; things that excite me a little, maybe. Things that genuinely concern me for the person speaking? Those are rare indeed, but Downton Abbey‘s Jessica Brown Findlay revealed something regarding her 2011 topless scene that caught my attention and kept me thinking for a while prior to writing this. More
“…So that’s the kitchen. If you’ll come with me this way – just come right through the door but watch your step there, the beam comes down a little lower than it does in the rest of the house – okay, great – this is the hallway that connects the living area to the master suite. [Pause].
Oh, the sign? Yes, technically this is a Hall of Shame. No, a Hall of Shame. Past it we come into the main bedroom…Sure, of course, I’m happy to talk about it. It’s a fairly standard feature for most homes of this style in the neighborhood. Like most Halls of Shame, it acts as a general repository of all the shame, attacks of conscience, nostalgia, regret, qualms, pangs of remorse and overall dissatisfaction that the homeowner accumulates during the lease…[unintelligible] No, during the time of the lease only.
Please join the latest Twitter game that combines the pain and complexity of the human experience with jokes about mutton, New Lays Flavors. More
FACEBOOK RUINS ONE-NIGHT STANDS. More
I’m sure many of you are going to agree on at least a few of these; unless you’re mistake-less, of course. If that’s the case, then no one wants to know you anyway, because that shit’s just boring. BORING. More
Our readers have spoken and the reigning champ of Regrets Week is… More
It was ten years ago this month that I ruined my own prom: I bought an ugly dress, dipped my head in a bowl of hair gel, threw myself at the wrong guy, and drank too much. Do I have regrets? Uh, yeah. I wish I could send myself crib notes from the future . . . then I would have at least gotten laid. More
Today’s Illustrated Guide breaks down the stages of a person’s life according to different kinds of regret. A regret index, if you will. I guess I meant for it to be funny but it kind of got away from me and became about mortality. :( More