Topic: Ronnie Ortiz

Party Favors: The Paper of Record Approves Of Your Small Tits

Party Favors: The Paper of Record Approves Of Your Small Tits

What do you do if your neighbors keep having really loud sex? The correct reaction is not “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” – Marie Claire

The New York Times says it’s cool to have small boobs, so obviously it must be true. – New York Times

Are Jersey Shore‘s Ronnie and Sammi the most dysfunctional couple on TV? Short answer: yes. – Wall Street Journal

How do you know when you’re in love? Like pornography, you know it when you see it. – Esquire

If you get stalked on Facebook, you are basically shit out of luck. – Jezebel

Celebrity sex scandals can teach you important lessons. Like “don’t cheat!” And “don’t make a sex tape!” Wow, thank goodness for famous people. – Fox News More »

5 Reasons Why ‘Jersey Shore’ Is the Best Thing On Television

5 Reasons Why 'Jersey Shore' Is the Best Thing On Television

I’m obsessed with Jersey Shore. I love bad TV, but Jersey Shore has gone from bad TV to extraordinary TV. I don’t know if the second season will be as good as the first, but here are a couple of reasons why this is my favorite show on TV right now.

•It’s hilarious. Plain and simple. Angelina wearing a black dress and Pauly cracking jokes about how last year she lugged all her stuff in trash bags since she didn’t have suitcases? Brilliant. Pretty much everything out of Snooki’s mouth? Funny. The best part is that many of the funny lines are things they just say casually and don’t even laugh at. Last season, when Pauly was trying to break things off with an Israeli girl who couldn’t take a hint, he yelled “You stalked my entire life!” It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, and that made it even funnier. Even mundane scenes are entertaining – Pauly and JWoww had an entire conversation about sales tax, and I was riveted. I don’t even know if Mad Men could pull that off. More »

You Tryin’ to Smush? The Best of the Worst of ‘Jersey Shore’ Style

You Tryin' to Smush? The Best of the Worst of 'Jersey Shore' Style

Jersey Shore never fails to entertain me. We could probably get into a pretty good argument on why it’s the best reality show out there. Nothing surprises me anymore about these elite eight individuals who invade my TV screen every Thursday night between 10 p.m. and 11. So they all have herpes and most of them aren’t even actually from Jersey, big whoop. What does surprise me, however, is that with their outrageously inappropriate wardrobes, J.Woww and The Situation seem to think people will actually buy their clothing (J.Woww’s clothing line, Filthy Couture, was recently launched and The Situation’s “Situation” line will be surfacing soon). From shirts with cleavage cutouts to sweatsuits that belong in the 90s, check out some of the best of the worst from Jersey Shore season two in Miami. More »