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On last week’s episode of Jersey Shore, Deena referred to Sammi as “a female backpack.” What does that mean, exactly? In this case, it means that Sammi – with her sour facial expressions and dependency on boyfriend Ronnie – is basically an accessory. Sammi follows Ronnie around to the point where I’m embarrassed for her, unable to form a meaningful relationship with anyone else. More
Dear Sammi,
I am just going to call you Sammi, aight? I mean, this whole Sweetheart thing is a total lie. Plus, if Snooki can be Nicole now, you’re not too good to use your real name. So, Samantha, you must be pissed that the other people from your show have way more endorsement deals than you. The Situation has a vodka, Snooki has a book, JWoww has a clothing line, and Vinny has my undying love and affection. Now that you have already stolen the name of my favorite American Girl doll and tried to ruin it by being a trifling nitwit who lets her boyfriend treat her like shit on television, you have found time to launch a fragrance. More
Although it’s the faintest non-rumor of a rumor ever, whispers are going around that a Jersey Shore movie is being considered by MTV. The rumor started after the latest Jackass movie performed well in theaters. Do you think the lovable band of Guidos and Guidettes would translate to the big screen, or would all that orange skin just look scary? More
In case you didn’t know, some of us at TheGloss are pretty much obsessed with the Jersey Shore. In case you also didn’t know, the season two finale is tomorrow night and we’re pretty stoked. And by pretty stoked I mean, we’ve been talking about it in the office like … a lot. If there’s one thing about season finale’s it’s that it brings people together. So tomorrow night, when you realize that the whole city is quiet between the hours of 10 and 11 p.m., it’s because you’re a sinner and don’t watch the Jersey Shore. So since you’re going to find yourself at someone’s house watching this magical show regardless if you’re a fan or not, I’m going to save you from humiliation and give you some key glossary terms. And afterwards, you will thank me because you will forever be enlightened and enriched with the culture that is guido. More
Can I just say that the Snooki Monster is the best idea ever? Also, there’s no Angelina!
Jersey Shore, also known as the best show on television, has taught me new vocabulary (grenade, smush, DTF) in addition to important lessons about life. And now they’ve taught me about beauty. Let me impart the wisdom on you. More
As some of you may know, yesterday I got to be up close and personal at the VMAs, among the people with whom I have spent many an intimate evening at home. In fact, I got to talk not only … More
The MTV Video Music Awards last night were a whirlwind. No, literally. The white carpet was like a wind tunnel — hair was getting blown this way and that, and most celebs shuffled down the press line with goosebumps, clutching their clutches tightly to their bodies as if they alone would hold in their body heat.
But we were troopers, and despite the fact that we are not necessarily the best photographers in the world, we got some good action shots and found out some serious scoop on our favorite reality stars. The theme of the evening was black and gold, so you’ll note that anyone starring in an MTV show is rocking the combination. Some of our favorite dish from the evening: More
Traditionally, the MTV Video Music Awards calls for a crazy dress code. With crazy celebrities in attendance over the past 26 years, it’s only natural for them to choose outrageous outfits. Some classic VMA stars known for their kooky styles … More
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What do you do if your neighbors keep having really loud sex? The correct reaction is not “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” – Marie Claire
The New York Times says it’s cool to have small boobs, so obviously it must be true. – New York Times
Are Jersey Shore‘s Ronnie and Sammi the most dysfunctional couple on TV? Short answer: yes. – Wall Street Journal
How do you know when you’re in love? Like pornography, you know it when you see it. – Esquire
If you get stalked on Facebook, you are basically shit out of luck. – Jezebel
Celebrity sex scandals can teach you important lessons. Like “don’t cheat!” And “don’t make a sex tape!” Wow, thank goodness for famous people. – Fox News More
I’m obsessed with Jersey Shore. I love bad TV, but Jersey Shore has gone from bad TV to extraordinary TV. I don’t know if the second season will be as good as the first, but here are a couple of reasons why this is my favorite show on TV right now.
•It’s hilarious. Plain and simple. Angelina wearing a black dress and Pauly cracking jokes about how last year she lugged all her stuff in trash bags since she didn’t have suitcases? Brilliant. Pretty much everything out of Snooki’s mouth? Funny. The best part is that many of the funny lines are things they just say casually and don’t even laugh at. Last season, when Pauly was trying to break things off with an Israeli girl who couldn’t take a hint, he yelled “You stalked my entire life!” It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, and that made it even funnier. Even mundane scenes are entertaining – Pauly and JWoww had an entire conversation about sales tax, and I was riveted. I don’t even know if Mad Men could pull that off. More
Jersey Shore never fails to entertain me. We could probably get into a pretty good argument on why it’s the best reality show out there. Nothing surprises me anymore about these elite eight individuals who invade my TV screen every Thursday night between 10 p.m. and 11. So they all have herpes and most of them aren’t even actually from Jersey, big whoop. What does surprise me, however, is that with their outrageously inappropriate wardrobes, J.Woww and The Situation seem to think people will actually buy their clothing (J.Woww’s clothing line, Filthy Couture, was recently launched and The Situation’s “Situation” line will be surfacing soon). From shirts with cleavage cutouts to sweatsuits that belong in the 90s, check out some of the best of the worst from Jersey Shore season two in Miami. More
On this week’s episode of Jersey Shore, the endless soap opera of Sammi and Ronnie’s relationship finally came to a boil. Basically, for those of you who don’t watch the show, Ronnie and Sammi were together all last season and … More
