Topic: Say Yes To The Mess

Say Yes To The Mess: Should You Spend More Time Planning Your Wedding Or Your Marriage?

Say Yes To The Mess: Should You Spend More Time Planning Your Wedding Or Your Marriage?

Since announcing her divorce this week, Kim Kardashian has become America’s biggest example of how not to plan a marriage. There are celebrities who have had shorter nuptials, but Kim spent $10 million on her wedding, filmed the entire thing and made it a national event — only to have the marriage last 72 days. That’s kind of embarrassing — even by reality TV standards.

According to Kim, she got caught up in the “hoopla” of wedding planning. And while most of us don’t have a television network – or Kris Jenner – to answer to, that particular aspect of wedding planning can happen to anyone. More »

Say Yes To The Mess: I’m So Glad I Didn’t Marry Billy Crystal

Say Yes To The Mess: I'm So Glad I Didn't Marry Billy Crystal

I always cry at weddings. So it makes sense that I would cry so much at my own. I got married on October 8 (that is still so strange to type), and I started tearing up almost immediately upon entering the church. I cried during my entire walk down the aisle, and through half of our ceremony. And then when I took photos with my grandmother and during my dad’s speech. (They were tears of joy, I promise!) But that was just on the wedding day.

I’m an easy crier. But I surprised even myself with the number of times I teared up in the week leading up to the wedding. And even I couldn’t believe it when Billy Crystal made me cry.

It was two nights before the wedding, and I was watching When Harry Met Sally (for the second time that night.) I think the TNT movie channel was created for women working on mindless crafting projects. I was cutting and wrapping and organizing things for the weekend and half paying attention to the screen. But the second time I watched that scene where Harry professes his love to Sally, I started to cry and couldn’t stop.

In this case, I suddenly realized that I wasn’t marrying someone like Harry. And it made me absurdly happy. More »

Say Yes To The Mess: What Is The Point Of Male Strippers?

Say Yes To The Mess: What Is The Point Of Male Strippers?

The phenomenon of hiring a male stripper to celebrate your impending nuptials is a hard one to explain. I, for one, do not quite understand the void that it fills in the life of the soon to be married woman. In fact, if aliens arrived on this planet and the first thing they encountered was a greased up naked man tossing around a group of women, they would probably annihilate the lot of us, for being a superfluous species. More »

Say Yes To The Mess: It’s Time To Make Decisions. Any Decisions.

Say Yes To The Mess: It's Time To Make Decisions. Any Decisions.

When I told my sisters they could pick out their own bridesmaid dresses, I thought I was being helpful. But apparently that made me an asshole. It’s really hard to tell what side of the equation you fall on with this whole wedding planning business.

Many of the decisions that go into wedding planning are nearly inconsequential. But they are often expensive. And need to be made. Sometimes last week.
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Say Yes To The Mess: Is It Ever A Nice Day For A Dry Wedding?

Say Yes To The Mess: Is It Ever A Nice Day For A Dry Wedding?

The more I’ve been planning this wedding of mine, the more I’ve noticed that people have very ingrained biases about traditions, customs and local habits. And while some are universally acknowledged (ie: don’t inform guests that gifts are mandatory for entrance) some are simply personal preference. And held all the more forcefully.

Where I grew up, weddings are open bar. I’ve never been to a wedding where there was a limit on the number of drinks guests could imbibe. Once, I was invited to a dry wedding. I did not attend. Granted, I was invited solo and I only knew the bride. But still! How would I have made new friends? (Dear everyone in AA: please stop reading now.) More »

Say Yes To The Mess: Welcome To My Breasts

Say Yes To The Mess: Welcome To My Breasts

Meghan Keane is getting married in October. This column is helping her cope.

According to a few moms I know, the act of giving birth changes a woman’s approach to modesty. After your bottom half has been exposed to a room attentive technicians for a few hours while you attempt push a baby through a very small hole, women appear to care less who sees them naked.

If that’s true, shopping for a wedding dress must be practice for that rite of passage. Except you usually get to keep your panties on. More »