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Related: 2/10 Would Not Bang.
Would not bang!
Could not bang!
Shall not, I’ll not
will not bang.
Will you bang her
Here or there?
I will not bang her,
here or there.
I would not bang her anywhere.
I would not bang her:
four out of ten.
I will not bang her,
my foolish friend. More
strong>Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have landed their first joint magazine cover, and keeping in line with their voracious, bottomless desire to have all the attention on them at all times, it appears they’re having sex. :( More
It is a well known fact on nearly every planet that Kim Kardashian is hella vain and really, really appreciates herself. But although her case of egotism is an extreme one — and when combined with Kanye, borderline devastating — she’s come … More
If you’re a frequent (or infrequent, even) reader of The Gloss, you know that we are big fans of birth control and sex education. We think women deserve to make their own individual reproductive choices, whether it’s to abstain from … More
Are you lonely? Left wondering why nobody’s banging you? Feeling sad and miserable and like your vulva is super, duper gross but you can’t handle those words so you need everything to be explained to you patronizing, graphic metaphors? More
A member of the immensely popular Japanese pop group AKB48 named Minami Minegishi has staged a tearful public apology after soiling the group’s honor with her behavior. Her terrible crime? Getting caught leaving a boy’s house in the morning by the paparazzi. More
Do you ever find yourself getting down with somebody and realize you lack a condom, but you’re too tipsy to drive to the store and unwilling to wake up your stupid roommate? More
Condoms have long been considered a “necessary evil” in the sex and dating world. While I feel the term “necessary evil” is silly with regard to condoms because they’re not remotely evil (unlike Spanx, which are similarly tight but serve a much less important purpose yet have garnered the same title). People often assume that condoms ruin sex or, at the very least, make it less fantastic. But is this actually the case? More
There are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life. Porn is abundant and lacy underwear seems to have become the norm. You can even find an assortment of massage oils, blindfolds, and little blue pills in the back of your neighborhood drug store. But some of the easiest ways to turn up the heat in the bedroom is simply to avoid things at all cost. You know, things like animals, children, and other human beings! More
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Look, if you are smuggling drugs anywhere in the region of your ladyparts, it is probably best not to send cheerful texts about it in general, and especially not say that you’ve got them in your coochie. More
“It’s not just the act, but to touch another person who feels you are attractive. If we are denied our right to sensuality, we are denied being human.” More
A weird all new edition of Fifty Shades of Grey is flying right at your face, like a tie, or a noose, or whatever other stuff happens in that book that I could never take seriously enough to finish. Just in time for Valentine’s day! I seem equally unlikely to read the new edition of Fifty Shades of Grey as I was with the last version, but, well, I guess some people will. Here is what you are going to find inside it: More
Do we do it less, or are we just that more stealth about it? More
The lesson from all these holiday jewelry commercials? The lady in your life will put out big time. More
