There are many truly awful things in the world, but once in a while, we read or hear something that makes us choke up and nearly vomit. More
Topic: sexual assault
It’s about time. More
On the morality scale, returning a lost wallet is certainly on the “good” side of things. I mean, being caught using somebody’s lost credit card or license is illegal and wrong anyway, but still — it’s obviously better than, say, taking the money and throwing the wallet at a passing biker’s head.
But is it good enough to negate assault? Uhm…uhm…uhm…absolutely not. More
There is no experiential empathy created from walking in some high heels, for the record. So why are colleges still using this as a “playful learning tool”? Since when did rape education need to be “playful”? More
“Do I tell him that he was raped or do I let him continue thinking it was just an unfortunate incident? Am I victimizing him or is society?” More
I’ve been a sex worker in a community structure three times, all of which have been different, and I prefer working in a group to working independently for a number of reasons. The main reasons is, of course, that by working in an environment with other women who not only know exactly what you do, but do it themselves, you have a built-in support network. More
“If you dress like a whore, act like a whore, you’re probably going to get raped.”
And now, I am shaking. More
I believe a lot of what helped me deal with not only the rape itself, but also the abuse, was my background in sex work. More
I remembered there was a four-letter word for fucking people without their consent and I wondered if that was what had just happened to me. Was I suddenly a statistic, that one in four or one in three or whatever the number is of women who have been in some way sexually abused or assaulted? More
I recently did an interview in which I was asked how I became such a risk taker, and how other women can become more comfortable with risk.
I gave a long answer. Most of the time we hesitate to take risks, what we’re really afraid of isn’t jail or death: it’s embarrassment, rejection, and the feeling of failure. Those aren’t real things. Or at least you shouldn’t be cowed by them. They’re just feelings. I barely notice most of those feelings because I have a lot of projects going on, and I choose not to indulge unproductive feelings when I could instead be making future plans.
But the other part of my answer — well, I paused as I was saying it and wondered whether to keep saying it. I feel like much of my success has been contingent on doing things young women really shouldn’t do, or shouldn’t do alone. In polite society, we say, “Are you sure that’s safe?” What we really mean is, “You’re likely to get raped. Possibly murdered.”
I think about this every time I read a story about a musician who made a name for himself by traveling around the country and sleeping in his car. Women can’t really sleep in their cars. More
One evening, I took the train with a friend for the first time. It was the middle of winter, so the sun went down before 5 PM each night. Since I had never been on the train before, I grossly underestimated how long it would take to get home; by the time I got to my stop, it was already dark. I got off and quickly walked in the direction of my house.
Then I heard it: scrrraaaaape. More
Remember the young women whom all non-Internet media sources– well, and many of them too — have seemingly forgot? The 16-year-old girl whose life and reputation have been shredded by those too blinded by rape culture and misogyny to see that she, who never chose for any of the events leading up to this trial to happen, is the real victim? Yeah, that Jane Doe exists, and while there’s never been any question as to whether or not she’s a better human being than Ma’lik Richmond or Trent Mays, she’s continuing to prove that. More
We’re then shown a clip of Richmond sobbing and Harlow goes on to relay a touching anecdote about Richmond’s father, hugging Ma’lik (the rapist) in the courtroom and telling him, “I love you.” Maybe for the first time ever! More
This ruling shows change that has been a long time coming, and has by no means totally arrived, but certainly gives hope to the masses who have spent lifetimes waiting for it. While much of the coverage surrounding this trial has been questionable, at best, anybody who has half a brain and a quarter of a heart knows that the most significant person in this entire situation is the young woman who survived the rape that these two boys put her through.
Here is to whom else it matters. More