When you think of people who shine shoes, do you imagine an aging man who has tips on what’s going on in the market? Someone who wears a bow tie? Someone who, in a movie, says to the young upstart on Wall Street, “Money doesn’t make anybody happy, son. Only love does that.” That’s advice that the protagonist will not take, until his fall from grace. At the end he’ll see the old shoe-shine man, nodding sagely, and he’ll realize that man was truly a master of obvious facts.
You watch too many old movies. Now men just want their shoes shined by sexy women in short shorts. More
I sometimes feel there is a pattern with Shelved Dolls. I begin with a saint, then write about a serial killer and then a sinner – and start the rotation again. Marion Davies was going to be our sinner but, according to Tennessee Williams and good people everywhere she “made up for the rest of Hollywood” so I decided we needed a really spicy courtesan this week.
A regular champagne bubble about town, if you will. More
Hey bitches, let’s talk about dressing sexy! This week on Upfront With Mari, your host of never-ending knowledge Mari Correa is here to answer one of our wonderful reader’s questions. Julie asks, “How do you dress sexy without looking slutty?” More
Jon Hamm has a penis, and apparently you can see it. More
Do you know Dan Stevens? Of course you do. You might not know him by name, but you watch Downton Abbey. You watch it with your mom, over holidays, while drinking cocoa, and watch him depict Matthew. And you weep. You weep at all the poignant lines. Here. Look at him in this tuxedo. You know exactly what he looks like. OR DO YOU. More
Well, supposedly. According to sources, an actress has been picked to portray Anastasia Steele in the upcoming Fifty Shades Of Grey movie, based on a really mediocre and not entirely sexy book that we are ashamed of having read. And the candidate doesn’t sound completely absurd! Maybe the movie will be better than the book! Like The Devil Wears Prada! More
I just thought I would pose this to everyone as a fun question, because I’m sure it’s something we’ve all considered. Sometimes, when you are going home with someone for the first time, do you think to yourself “this person is maybe an axe murderer. Like, a fifty percent chance. Insofar as they either are or are not. How will I prevent this?” More
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We need to seriously consider whether Sam Claflin is sufficiently hot to play Finnick in the upcoming Hunger Games: Catching Fire, I guess, because that is what absolutely everyone is doing. More
I love Hooters and have no real qualms with its business model. But what do you think about the establishment trying to be more female friendly? More
Do you want to know how to excite men? How to drive men wild? How to seduce a man? Or turn on your boyfriend? You should probably read Cosmopolitan. More
I feel like every time I pick up the Daily Mail I read about a woman who is losing weight by pole dancing. Every time. It appears all they have to do is go in and they are losing weight and swinging their bodies around the pole like a spider monkey. I thought maybe it would be fun to write my own article about things that happened when I tried a pole dancing class at my gym. This happened: More
Because fuck bras. More