Topic: Shelved Dolls

Shelved Dolls: Roxelana – What Life Was Like In A Harem

If there is one thing I have learned about history, it’s that if you are a woman with common sense, people are going to decide that you are a witch. Meet Roxelana. More »

Shelved Dolls: Caroline Lamb – Byron’s Mistress With The Pubic Hair

Are you reading this and thinking, “My last relationship broke up. I am trying to find someone to identify with in this story, Jennifer, but I have failed, because I either maintained my pubic hair and did not break into anyone’s house, or, alternatively, I did not deliberately drive my ex-lover to multiple suicide attempts.”

GOOD WORK, BUDDY. More »

Shelved Dolls: Sally Hemings – Was She Really Thomas Jefferson’s Mistress?

There are some aspects about which everyone seems to agree regarding Sally Hemings.

The first is that she was a stone fox. Around the Monticello plantation where she grew up she was called “Dashing Sally” by the time she was about age 15.

When she arrived in Paris with President Jefferson, she captivated people. This is also something absolutely everyone agreed upon. More »

Sybil Ludington Is Your New Feminist Hero

If you have felt conflicted today about who is and is not a feminist, I thought we could present you with one person who is. Sybil Ludington. There you go. She is amazing. Just look at this statue of her! More »

If You’ve Had Children, No One Wants To F*ck You Unless You Drink Virgins’ Blood

NO ONE WANTS YOUR USED-UP, STRETCHED-OUT-BY-BABIES VAGINA NEAR THEM. More »

Shelved Dolls: La Paiva – A Really Glamorous Monster

I sometimes feel there is a pattern with Shelved Dolls. I begin with a saint, then write about a serial killer and then a sinner – and start the rotation again. Marion Davies was going to be our sinner but, according to Tennessee Williams and good people everywhere she “made up for the rest of Hollywood” so I decided we needed a really spicy courtesan this week.

A regular champagne bubble about town, if you will. More »

Shelved Dolls: Aileen Wuornos – Feminist Hero Or Psychopath?

Was Aileen Wuornos a horrible woman, or a wonderful one? More »

Shelved Dolls: Marion Davies

Have you ever seen the movie Citizen Kane? No? Okay, instead of reading this you should now go and watch Citizen Kane. Here is a place where you can watch it illegally. Just watch it, it will be great. You’re a human being and you can read words so you’re probably going to like Citizen Kane. More »

Shelved Dolls: The Sad Tale Of Jean Harlow

Jean Harlow had the worst death in the entire world. More »

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Shelved Dolls: Constance Wilde – Oscar Wilde’s Wife

If you were thinking of marrying a gay man because it kind of worked out for Linda Porter, Constance Wilde is here to advice you against that.
More »

Shelved Dolls: Linda Porter – A Beard, But Cole Porter’s Beard

Linda Porter was such a style icon that, at one point during the ’30′s, particularly well dressed women were referred to as “Very Linda Porterish.” Cole Porter’s wife was famous for her simple, elegant styles, as well as the fact … More »

Shelved Dolls: Lady Nijo – Pretty Much Every Character On Girls

Lady Nijo, the author of Confessions of Lady Nijo was just so much worse than any entitled, bratty 20-something you will ever run into right now. More »

Shelved Dolls: Rachel Roberts – About That Time She Masturbated A Dog

I like to think that I was introduced to Rachel Roberts by Richard Burton. This is partly because I first came across a mention of her in one of Richard Burton’s letters, and partly because I have a very active fantasy life. More »

Shelved Dolls: Ayn Rand – I’m Going To Make You Like Her

I know, I know, you hate Ayn Rand. Everyone hates Ayn Rand. I mean, almost everyone. 13 year old girls absolutely love her because the idea of doing exactly what you want, and not compromising nor putting anyone else’s needs before your own, is the fantasy of every teenager in the world. More »

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