Topic: Shopping

Anthologies We’d Like To See

Anthologies We'd Like To See

A compilation of the first chapter of every book where the narrator described how glamorous his or her parents looked when they used to get dress up and go out for the night.

A compilation of the first paragraph of every novel that opens with the murder of the most popular girl in school.

A compilation of every time a woman has talked about how handsome her grandfather looked in those old pictures and isn’t it a shame how nobody dances, really dances like that anymore? More »

What To Do With Christmas Gifts You Don’t Want

What To Do With Christmas Gifts You Don't Want

Perhaps you received too many Apple products. Perhaps you received an insufficient number of Apple products and risk being drummed out of the local chapter of your Apple product society. Perhaps the spirit of Steve Jobs’ recently impounded yacht will haunt your dreams tonight; that is a matter for your conscience.

Perhaps everyone you know bought you a candle. If you are a survivalist; all to the good. Pack them in your survivin’ shelter and wait for time to prove you right. If you are not a survivalist, find a way to make peace with the fact that no one really knows you; no one even bothered to pretend to know you. More »

Cyber Monday: Productivity Will Be Extra Low At Work, Lying To Your Boss Will Be Extra High (And Fun)

Cyber Monday: Productivity Will Be Extra Low At Work, Lying To Your Boss Will Be Extra High (And Fun)

Cyber Monday is that one day a year where all the little lies you’ve been telling your boss are finally used two fold, and you realize that although your job technically involves other responsiblities, you, after so many years being under the thumb of a tyrant, fully understanding that fuck, yeah, you’re a goddamn master at pulling the wool over your boss’ eyes. More »

Gallery: Discarded ‘Ghetto’ Clothes Of Kim Kardashian’s Now For Sale On Ebay

Gallery: Discarded 'Ghetto' Clothes Of Kim Kardashian's Now For Sale On Ebay

As part of his ongoing efforts to turn Kim Kardashian into his ideal, high fashion, hip-hop Stepford wife, Kanye West made her excise many of the more “ghetto” items from her closet. (His word, not mine.) And now, lucky us, she’s put said items up for sale on Ebay! While most people might balk at the chance to pay $1,000 for something deemed too trashy for Kim Kardashian, think of it as your good deed for the day. After all, she gives a whopping 10% of the proceeds to charity. Here are a few of my favorite items from Kim’s makeover fire sale. More »

Grown-Up Confession: My Mother Still Takes Me Back-To-School Shopping

Grown-Up Confession: My Mother Still Takes Me Back-To-School Shopping

So now that I’ve gotten all high-and-mighty about maturity and taking responsibility for your own actions, I’d like to continue the grown-up discussion with a different subject. Back-to-school shopping.

Why would grown-ups talk about back-to-school shopping? You might be asking. Unless we’re talking about the grown-ups’ school-aged children. But we’re not. We’re talking about me. More »