Topic: slutoween

Crowdsourcing: Who Won The Costume Contest At My Halloween Party?

Crowdsourcing: Who Won The Costume Contest At My Halloween Party?

So this post was supposed to be a street style round-up of all the cool costumes I saw out in the wild this Halloween season, but then a few things happened: 1.) I devoted most of my energy to my own extravagant party, 2.) I didn’t get to go out as much as I would’ve liked to because of the hurricane, and 3.) the pictures I paid a photographer to take came out way, way better than the ones I took with my phone. (Quelle surprise!) So I’m only going to show you pictures from my own party. I’m sorry in advance if that seems super self-centered of me, but I promise everyone looked really fucking crazy. More »

Gallery: Photos From Heidi Klum’s NYC Halloween Bash

Gallery: Photos From Heidi Klum's NYC Halloween Bash

Last night, Heidi Klum threw the second of her two impressive Halloween bashes at the fancy pants Dream Hotel in NYC. You probably weren’t invited. It’s cool, we weren’t either. Luckily, there are pictures all over the Internet already, so we can still laugh over how pathetic everyone else’s attempts at “costumes” looked in comparison to Klum’s elaborate monkey suit. Just kidding, pretty much everyone looked great but no one beat Heidi. Honorable mention goes to Amber Rose, The Blonds, and a few Project Runway alums. More »

Gallery: The Greatest Hits Of Copyright Infringement Euphemisms, Halloween Edition

Gallery: The Greatest Hits Of Copyright Infringement Euphemisms, Halloween Edition

After work yesterday, still in need of several pieces of my costume, I popped into one of the many Ricky’s Halloween stores that seem to have sprouted overnight all over the city like mushrooms after a particularly slutty rain. I didn’t find everything I needed there, but I did discover a wonderful plenitude of euphemisms designed to get around those pesky “you can’t use that name unless you pay me for it” laws. They’ve got Donald Trump, Mr. T, Lady Gaga…not even the recently departed Amy Winehouse is safe from plagiarism. Those costume companies sure have got some chutzpah. More »

Gallery: Slut-o-ween Is Not Just For Humans

Gallery: Slut-o-ween Is Not Just For Humans

If you think dogs are exempt from Slut-o-ween by virtue of belonging to a species that doesn’t understand the concept of “sexy clothing,” think again. Just because they have no fucking clue what’s going on doesn’t mean humans aren’t going to cram them into the most ridiculous little dog outfits they can find, and then get mad when they pee and poop all over them. In honor of Slut-o-ween Week, I’ve scoured the Internet for the absolute finest in canine sluttire. And because I’m an evil cat person, there are a few cats at the end, as a bonus. (Cats rule.) More »

My Own Slut-O-Ween Story: I Was A Third-Grade Jessica Rabbit

My Own Slut-O-Ween Story: I Was A Third-Grade Jessica Rabbit

Who Framed Roger Rabbit came out in 1988, and I thought it was the greatest movie ever made. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure my seven-year-old self didn’t understand half of what was happening on the screen or even what the word “framed” meant, but I adored everything about that movie, especially Jessica Rabbit. What wasn’t there to idolize? She had Veronica Lake’s hair, Bette Davis’ bitchface, Kathleen Turner’s voice, and purple satin opera gloves like Miss Piggy. As we left the theater, I told my mother that I intended to dress like Jessica Rabbit for Halloween. More »

My Own Slut-O-Ween Story: I Was A Sexy Skunk

My Own Slut-O-Ween Story: I Was A Sexy Skunk

My senior year of college I worked as a seasonal employee at one of those generic big-chain Halloween stores. Over the course of my 6 weeks of employment, I became very familiar with every level of slutty Halloween costume. They ranged from the eyebrow-raising questionable teen costumes to the full-blown Playgirl-endorsed ho-in-a-bags. The worst was watching as ladies enthusiastically selected costumes in sizes that were clearly too small for them. I mean, we even had a fitting room! All too often, ladies who were generously endowed decided to display their goods in ill-fitting and unflattering garments. More »