Some cursory internet research revealed, quite helpfully, that BB Cream is 1) like foundation, but not; 2) like tinted moisturizer, but not, and 3) Korean… but actually German. Which, obviously, illuminates nothing. More
It’s true. I do not use sunblock. I do not own sunblock, and if I were to disregard the fact that my mother would slather up my sister and I on beach days when were wee ones, we can say I’ve never used sunblock. Why? Because I’m an idiot. More
So, I went to the beach for the past few days, and now I’m red like a lobster. God, I’m in pain. It feels great! I’m going to be so pretty when this is over! No, I’m not, I’m going to be peeling like a reptile. A goddamn reptile. I make bad choices, huh? Like Lindsay’s daughter’s friends. Just let me lie to myself a little longer.
Look, I looked like Wednesday Addams at the country club, okay? I had a lot of issues about who I was, and who I am, and whether or not I wanted to fit in, so I bought a Lily Pulitzer dress and then I lay out by the pool with no suntan lotion on for three hours. In many ways, my vacation would have been written by Bret Easton Ellis if he did a lot of Klonopin.
And I am a lobster now, ripe for considering. Afterward, I looked up a lot of facts about tanning, while sitting very erect at my computer, because I can’t move, because it hurts too much. Anyhow. If you want to get skin cancer, this is how you go about getting it in the most beautiful manner. More
As a pale-faced girl with a tendency to look like a tomato with hair during the hottest months of summer, I am always on the hunt for the perfect facial sunscreen. The problem with most moisturizer/sunscreens is that I sweat … More
We’ve all been there — one missed spot with the lotion, and suddenly you’ve got a sunburn that’s shaped like a squashed duck covering half a square foot of your body. While that might be a simple mistake, there’s no … More
April is National Rosacea Awareness Month. In a weird coincidence, both Lilit and Jennifer have rosacea, but they cope with it in very different ways. Jennifer’s up first: There are a few days in your teenage years that are undeniably … More
I’m not normally a hat person – but I also don’t like getting my hair wet, and never remember to bring my umbrella anywhere. Due to all of these factors – and the ensuing April showers – I realized it … More
I don’t think I can go a winter without using at least one lip balm. And the name Ocean Potion, just sounds so much like sunny days at the beach… I’m hooked. And who wants dried out lips all winter … More