An overweight woman was told she was not allowed to tan at a tanning salon where she just bought a $70 non-refundable package. Tanning will kill you, but this kills my heart. More
For those of you who don’t remember, the above photo is what Amanda Bynes used to look like. Remember that sweet smile and long, flowing hair? Neither do I, really, because I stopped paying attention to her career after All That went off the air, but nevertheless — this is what she looked like in 2009!
Now, behold 2013. More
For reals. More
You’d never know it from the looks of her, but Lindsay Lohan has, at some point, spent more than $40,000 on spray tans. More
DANGEROUS MESSAGES AHEAD. More
“Worry about your pale selves. Thanks!” More
It’s worse than you imagine. More
A New Jersey mom named Patricia Krentcil (above) has been arrested and charged with child endangerment after bringing her five-year-old daughter into a tanning booth. Apparently, the daughter’s kindergarten teacher noticed “severe” sunburns after the child complained of discomfort. …HOLY SHIT! More
Australia’s melanoma rates are the highest in the world, with 1,200 deaths a year. Round after round of public health campaigns have urged locals to use sunscreen, wear hats and avoid sun during the hottest parts of the day. Now, the country’s most populous state–New South Wales, home of Sydney and the whole of the Capital Territory–has taken the campaigns a step further and banned the use of tanning beds. More
This is what we like to call a “Snookover.” Click ahead to see how it turns out. More
Have you ever looked at my TV boyfriend Anderson Cooper and thought, “he’s all right I suppose, but his creamy skin would look even better with some orange, airbrushed muscles”? Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has, and today on Andie’s new daytime talk show, she friggin’ did something about it. More
What do men want you to wear? High heels, a tank top, and skinny jeans. Should you? Don’t be ridiculous.
We asked our male friends the trends they hate the most, and then found good reasons you should try them anyway (though we agree that tanning yourself orange is just dumb).
So, I went to the beach for the past few days, and now I’m red like a lobster. God, I’m in pain. It feels great! I’m going to be so pretty when this is over! No, I’m not, I’m going to be peeling like a reptile. A goddamn reptile. I make bad choices, huh? Like Lindsay’s daughter’s friends. Just let me lie to myself a little longer.
Look, I looked like Wednesday Addams at the country club, okay? I had a lot of issues about who I was, and who I am, and whether or not I wanted to fit in, so I bought a Lily Pulitzer dress and then I lay out by the pool with no suntan lotion on for three hours. In many ways, my vacation would have been written by Bret Easton Ellis if he did a lot of Klonopin.
And I am a lobster now, ripe for considering. Afterward, I looked up a lot of facts about tanning, while sitting very erect at my computer, because I can’t move, because it hurts too much. Anyhow. If you want to get skin cancer, this is how you go about getting it in the most beautiful manner. More