Topic: Timesaving Tips

Gwyneth Paltrow, here is my bottom-line piece of advice for you, because I’m getting tired of being forced to critique your moronic ramblings every single month in your newsletter, GOOP: stop trying to pretend that you have anything in common with 99.99% of working mothers in the world. Just stop.

You’d be infinitely more likable if you just owned your fucking awesome life — if you were just all, “guess what, world? My husband and I are worth tens of millions of dollars. Any time I want, I can choose to work for two months and make $15 million. My mother is Blythe Danner. I’m better-looking that just about every single person in the world. I do colonics.”

Look, I like you even better already, and I wrote that myself! More »