Topic: toddlers

I’m Not Mad That Gwyneth Paltrow Is Selling Bikinis For Children — Just At These Creepy Advertisements

We make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow a lot here at The Gloss, but that’s typically just us poking at her ridiculously out-of-touch attitude toward money, food and the world at large.

Now, though, she’s being hit with a whole lot of criticism from all directions for selling bikinis to children on GOOP. I’m admittedly not opposed to bikinis for kids — so they’re wearing two pieces of cloth instead of one, big deal — but I am totally disturbed by the photos GOOP is using to market these bikinis to children. More »

Toddlers In Bikinis Modeling For Chinese Auto Show

Sorry all of your news today is “age inappropriate things are going on in China” but toddlers are now modeling in bikinis for auto shows in the 2012 Chutian Automobile Culture Festival.

Watching a toddler in a bikini strokes a car seductively is probably the most off-putting thing I can imagine, so I’m always fascinated in the mentality that means that anyone would think this was a good idea. More »

Violence Breaks Out During Toddler Dance Recital

Get ready to feel very ashamed of yourselves. More »

Gallery: Madewell Encourages Grown Women To Dress Like Disheveled Toddlers

Zooey Deschanel, what hath thou wrought?

Okay, so Zooey generally looks fairly put-together. But the quirksome, infantilized woman-children she so often plays seem to have leaked into mainstream culture to the point where major fashion brands like Madewell are styling their models like they’re trying out for Charlize Theron‘s role on Arrested Development. I’m all for dressing whimsically, but there’s a difference between selecting a cutesy print and making people wonder if you’re developmentally disabled and/or engaged in some sort of adult baby fetish play. Click through to see what I mean. More »

Want To See What Lingerie For Toddlers Looks Like?

It’s so elegant! Until you remember that this girl is 4. More »

Poll: How Do You Feel About 3 Year Olds Learning To Pole Dance?

There are now classes where in England where, for $8, you can train your toddler to pole dance. They offer instruction for children age 3-7. Again, to pole dance.
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The Misanthropologist: Toddler-Friendly Cocktails

I was reading the internet today because I’m apparently supposed to read about things that are currently happening and provide intelligent, insightful commentary on them. So: an Olive Garden in Florida served a toddler a screwdriver and they’re in trouble for it (watch the video here, but take my word for it, this kid has nark written all over him). More »

Cynthia Rowley Heals All Wounds

You know what’s embarrassing? When you fall down and hurt yourself. And then you have to go get a band-aid. And then there are only the band-aids with the dinosaurs left on them, the ones that your friend gave you … More »

Alison Nautical Dress From Kule On Sale

1928 days ago by Dexie
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Kule is a luxury clothing store frequented by big celebrity moms like Gwyneth Paltrow. This Alison Nautical Dress used to be $79 but you can have it for $39.50. I believe that’s a savings of 50% :) . This nautical … More »