Topic: Vaseline on the Face

So the other day, I was at this awards show called the VMA’s. (OK, I’ll stop with the VMA faux-humility. It just feels like a weird thing to throw out there…like, you know how people who graduated from Harvard talk about dropping the “H-bomb?” That’s how I feel bringing up the fact that I was at the VMA’s. Anyway.) Upon arrival, all the members of the press were given numbers and told to line up accordingly, so that the show’s coordinators could lead us out to the white carpet like calm, orderly sheep.

So I’m standing there waiting, and all of a sudden More »