The first thought that popped into my mind when I saw the â€śpositiveâ€ť sign on my First Response Early Result pee stick? â€śWow, so that happened a lot faster than I anticipated.â€ť I was shocked, ecstatic, amazed, and bouncing off the walls. The second thought that occurred to me? â€śWow, so now I stop drinking. For a long time. BUTâ€¦BUTâ€¦BUT I NEVER SAID GOODBYE TO ALL THE WINE.â€ť More
I saw my dream self on CNN today. She was pantsless and stealing two boxes of wine. More
Have you ever encountered a major wine snob? If youâ€™re the kind of person who enjoys wine because it tastes and feels good, but you donâ€™t make it some big to-do, those who get precious about fermented grape juice might make you want to roll your eyes until it hurts. In fact, they can make you want to just chug all the wine or just pour the bottle out on your body like youâ€™re at some cult of Dionysus drunken orgy. Itâ€™s okay to make wine a hobby, but itâ€™s not entirely appropriate to whip out your knowledge with people who just want to drink it. More
Once again, my imaginary BFF knows exactly what she’s talking about. More
We got a chance to sit down with Vivid star Savanna Samson to talk about beauty, parenting, and breaking into the adult film industry. Here’s what she told us! More
While I normally wouldn’t question an excuse to overindulge in milk chocolate and red wine, I also hate to participate (though I usually succumb to its deliciousness) because I am anti-V-Day for the following reasons. More
Despite my very intense love of pumpkin beer and sparkling wine in the fall, I’m now seriously considering a cutback. (For like, a month or so. Maybe.) More
For i-D magazine’s Q&A issue, photographerÂ Tyrone Lebon and fashion director Charlotte Stockdale shot five covers. However, the shoot involvingÂ Lara Stone has caught everybody’s eye, as she’s not only six months pregnant in the pictures, she also has her head on a platter. A fruit platter, specifically, which doesn’t really change the fact that her head’s on a plate of food. Despite loving the colors, I still find it…unnerving. More
Red wine can definitely fight the effects of aging.
Red wine will clear up your acne, but it will replace the acne with migraines.
Red wine will enable you to “have it all” but it will give your children autism. If your children already have autism, it will give them a peanut allergy. If your children already have a peanut allergy, it will turn them into human-sized dragonflies.
Red wine is the winning taste in the 2013 Do Us a Flavor Lay’s Potato Chip flavor contest. More
WARNING: LITTLE KIDS WANT TO GET WASTED ON YOUR ALCOHOL WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND TO STOP THEM. More
I mean, all of them say that you’ve known some trouble in your time.
(Fun fact: pretty much the only things I drink are champagne and bourbon. I didn’t include mixed cocktails in here because if I had to figure out what a Velvet Hammer said about you I’d be here all night and want to smash this computer in with an actual hammer). More
Wine perfume: because your three Riesling lunch does not have you smelling enough like a wino already. More
Wine should not be developed with calories in mind. More
Do you ever look at your pocketbook and wish it was filled not with change, lint, and various old lipsticks, but delicious, life improving box wine? If you, like me, have frequently harbored this desire (and really, who hasn’t?), then the (awesome name alert!) “Baggy Winecoat” is the just the product for you. More