Are you tired of the traditional labor day Pimms Cup (this is traditional in the world of me, personally.) Do you find yourself flinging up your arms and shouting, “a true laborer would never drink the cucumber beverage served at Ascot?” I respect your strong opinions about odd things, and I have found a drink for you, eccentric and opinionated friend! More
Topic: You need a drink
Look, this is partly just an excuse to post this note, which I thought was funny. Hah! Anthropomorphic qualities attributed to inanimate objects! Hah! Hah!
That’s my kind of joke. For real. I like shaming Coke Zero like its in the stocks. More
Have you read this drinker’s pretty charming questionnaire about himself? More
Ladies! Time to take offense! More
Mercury is in retrograde! Eff everything! Everyone swear a bunch! More
Today, in impractical products with terrible marketing campaigns! More
Where is the drinking martini hour? More
Wine perfume: because your three Riesling lunch does not have you smelling enough like a wino already. More
Every time I see a couture coke bottle, I think “oh, God, Karl Lagerfeld, a fashion vampire who lives only off of raw fish and Diet Coke, would be so happy about this.” Then I remember how hard those bottles must be for him to hold with his bony little hands, and I feel sad.
On a side note, this is what Karl Lagerfeld looks like in my head: More
Joining the ranks of Diddy, Pharrell Williams, and Bethenny Frankel, Mr Ocean himself is getting ready to lunch his own liquor line. That’s right, pretty soon you can take a snake bite of George Clooney. Or ya know, his tequila. More
Don’t worry, I remembered to include alcoholics.
The solitary splendor of the apocalypse is going to be so great. More
When you order a drink, I judge you. Here is a list of common personality traits and characteristics I’ve observed based off of drink orders: More