Topic: Beauty Treatments of the Damned

Human Barbie Valerie Lukyanova Fighting With Human Ken Doll Justin Jedlica

Human Barbie Valerie Lukyanova Fighting With Human Ken Doll Justin Jedlica

When we heard that human Barbie doll Valerie Lukyanova had met with human Ken doll Justin Jedlica we thought it would be a match made in some sort of Mattel heaven. We thought they would build their dream house together, and wear lots of outfits, and deal with the fact that “math is hard.” Together. They would deal with it together. But no, now our dreams are dashed, because they’re actually fighting and don’t seem to like each other very much. More »

Beauty Trends From History: Have You Ever Considered A Lip Piercing?

Beauty Trends From History: Have You Ever Considered A Lip Piercing?

I am a total body modification wuss. No tattoos, no piercings – I don’t even have pierced ears. Which does not stop some boyfriends from buying me earrings. I’m sure that a healthy percentage of my readers are more ballsy about these things. But just like I look at pierced ears and think “ouch, no thanks.” I’m sure that even the most inked and pierced of you have the same type of reaction to more extreme body modifications. You know, like this More »

Beauty Trends From History: The Strigil

Beauty Trends From History: The Strigil

Have you ever really wanted a shower? Really, really wanted? Felt so gross that you try not to move around too much for fear that, say, raising your arm a little bit is going to make the stranger next to you on the subway faint because of the toxins you will release?

The last time that happened to me was when I was on vacation in Rome. If you learn one thing from this column, that thing should be: don’t go to Rome in August. It is hot. HOT. And there is no air-conditioning. I was my own little constant, mobile sauna of sweaty disgustingness. Every shower felt so wonderful, like the water was produced by angels crying tears of joy. More »

Toddlers In Bikinis Modeling For Chinese Auto Show

Toddlers In Bikinis Modeling For Chinese Auto Show

Sorry all of your news today is “age inappropriate things are going on in China” but toddlers are now modeling in bikinis for auto shows in the 2012 Chutian Automobile Culture Festival.

Watching a toddler in a bikini strokes a car seductively is probably the most off-putting thing I can imagine, so I’m always fascinated in the mentality that means that anyone would think this was a good idea. More »

Beauty Trands From History: What To Do About Your Unwanted Facial Hair (Besides Removing It)

Beauty Trands From History: What To Do About Your Unwanted Facial Hair (Besides Removing It)

I, like approximately 99% of women who would also admit it if you got them a couple shots of tequila, occasionally sprout a few unwanted hairs on my chinny-chin-chin. And sure, it’s no big deal to take care of them/ make sure my boyfriend never ever ever finds my tube of facial hair removal cream (it’s buried in a Fort Knox of feminine hygiene products). But this column is here to remind you that everything you think gross is another culture’s shining beauty spot. So guess what: lady beards are hot. More »

Beauty Trends From History: How To Shave Without A Razor

Beauty Trends From History: How To Shave Without A Razor

Don’t let your boyfriend read this column. Especially not if your boyfriend looks at pornography and makes puppy dog eyes while pleading with you to remove every single hair down there. How do you deal with this? I have frequently pointed out that untold generations managed to lead satisfying sex lives before the mass deforestation started by late ‘80’s porn.

But it turns out that smoothness down below is not just an invention of late stage capitalism. Nope. Turns out that the ancient Greeks, alongside being masters of art, literature, philosophy, and toga parties, were also quite skilled at getting their women to engage in pubic hair depilation. More »

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