Topic: Uncategorized

Stages Of Nose Spray Use

Stages Of Nose Spray Use

1. Oh, my God, I can’t breathe through my nose. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I’ll never sleep again. I’ll do anything to fix this.

2. No, but do you know what happens to people who use nose spray?

3. Are you ready for a lifetime addiction to the rebound congestion brought on by regular nose spray use?

4. No, no; I’ll be fine, this isn’t a problem. I’ll just breathe through my mouth and have a sore throat until the end of my life and then I’ll be dead for forever. More »

How To Avoid Being A Complete Asshole Just Because ‘It’s The Holidays’

How To Avoid Being A Complete Asshole Just Because 'It's The Holidays'

As anybody who has ever worked in food service or retail knows, the holiday season sucks. They just completely and totally suck. You’re overworked, probably underpaid, everybody tips you less because they’re trying to save money — which is understandable but nonetheless very frustrating — and your bosses are constantly stressed out at you. Oh, and people will yell at you. For no reason. Just… no reason. You’ll smile sweetly because you have to, but inside, you will contemplate headbutting them with the strength of 1000 Guy Fieris. More »

My Lifelong Goal Is To Be A Mother, But Now I Am Too Depressed & Afraid To Have Children

My Lifelong Goal Is To Be A Mother, But Now I Am Too Depressed & Afraid To Have Children

Yes, I have always known about the bad, bad things our world holds around every corner and down every lane and across every hallway. There are awful things that happen all day, every year. But for some reason I can’t quite pinpoint, I can’t help but be so frighteningly aware of them that the prospect of having a child now upsets me. All I can imagine is crying. Just crying. More »

Victoria Jackson Blames Women Who Have Abortions For Sandy Hook School Shooting, Is Officially ‘The Worst’

Victoria Jackson Blames Women Who Have Abortions For Sandy Hook School Shooting, Is Officially 'The Worst'

It is rare that I take celebrities seriously. No, really, no matter how often I write about them, I just generally do not take famous people seriously. They’re like dolls: you hug them and tuck them in with you and pretend they have personalities, but inside, you’re pretty sure there’s no “soul,” whatever that means. And then sometimes, they say things that make you swing around, suddenly realizing that you’ve been flattering Chuckie every night. More »

‘When Did I Get Older Than Boy Bands?’ And Other Woeful Wednesday Tales.

âWhen Did I Get Older Than Boy Bands?â And Other Woeful Wednesday Tales.

You guys. I’m overwhelmed. Boy bands are back. THEY’RE BACK AND THEY’RE EVERYWHERE.

I guess on some level I knew this day would come. I knew they wouldn’t stay away forever, but I thought I had a few more safe years. In fact, I didn’t even realize the first wave was fully over. Didn’t we just stop listening to such gems as ‘NSYNC, 98 Degrees, and The Backstreet Boys? (Or at least admitting we listened to them?) Actually, aren’t The Backstreet Boys like…still together? [Brief foray to Wikipedia...] Yes! Yes they are. They just announced they’re doing another album. Album? Do we even still say ‘album’? Or ‘CD’? What do we say?! More »